#like this could be on some kind of necklace

[maeshoneyles]

trophy

pairing: alexia putellas x reader

wc: 3.1k

tags: 18+!!!! smut, sugar mommy alexia, mafia alexia, fingering (r receiving), mirror sex, cunnilingus (r receiving), alexia grinding on r, dirty talk, jealousy, possessiveness but the good kind, alexia threatens a guy, aftercare and fluff at the end

a/n: i love a good sugar mommy alexia dynamic and the mafia just adds the perfect touch to me lol hope you enjoy!

The restaurant felt like somewhere the characters from Succession would eat, which honestly probably wasn’t too far off. Alexia was across the small table, eyes darting across a wine menu like she was deciphering some ancient cipher instead. Her brow had certain quirk to it, her forehead wrinkled just so as she read through the list of foreign reds and whites. The soft candlelight only accentuated her soft features as you sat there, staring, unabashedly, like nothing else in the world mattered. At that moment, it didn’t. 

“Where did you say we were going after this, baby?”

“An event.” She said quickly, not looking up from the list.

“Do I get any more detail than that?” you said, batting your eyelashes in that way that always pissed Alexia off. Of course, it only made her mad because it made her melt for you.

“Stop that, and no. I told you everything you need to know.”

“All you said was to stay as close to you as possible, stay quiet, and look pretty.”

“Exactly, that is all you need to know.”

You sat back in your seat with a sigh and continued watching. The fabric of your dress was tight, but not too tight. The shoes were silver, and you honestly could not remember if this was a pair studded with real diamonds or not. You had too many too keep track. The necklace, though, those were definitely real. You remember Alexia coming home with the box on a random Wednesday a few months ago, almost giving you a heart attack in the living room when you saw the exquisite piece.

Alexia ordered the wine and the food, as usual. She liked to do everything short of actually chewing your food for you like a mama bird. And honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her. 

You really had no idea what you ate—there was no point wasting energy on even looking at the menu when Alexia decided everything. Not that you minded, of course. One less decision for you to make. You told her about your day, your internship, your coworker who had bought you coffee twice this week, and yeah, had you brought that up just to see her jaw clench and her pupils dilate? Maybe. “Princesa, you know you don’t have to work that silly job, right? If this man is bothering you…”

“Yes baby, I know. You’ve told me a million times. But I want to, okay? I would go crazy sitting at home all day waiting for you. And I promise he is not a big deal. He doesn’t matter. Don’t do anything stupid on his account, ‘kay?”

“Mmm…I make no promises when it comes to you.”

“Ale…” You smirked. Alexia flashed back her wolfish smile that never failed to make you squirm in your seat. God this meeting or event or whatever better not take too long. Maybe I can convince her to leave early.

Dinner was comfortable and quick, just the precursor to the rest of the evening.

“Come, the car is outside,” Alexia’s hand found it’s place at the small of your back, leading you through the dimly-lit restaurant, out into the crisp night air, and into the back of the unassuming black car she had hired. You couldn’t remember the last time you had driven anywhere. Would you even remember how if given the opportunity? You didn’t waste too much time on the thought, brought back to reality quickly by Alexia’s hand squeezing your thigh. “Remember princesa, stay close and quiet. Don’t move out of my sight. Let everyone drool over you and make sure they know who you go home with,” she husked.

“Is that it? I’m here so you can show me off on your arm and make these assholes jealous?” you smirked.

Alexia gave me an unimpressed look and sighed. “Don’t- I’m not-”

I chuckled, shutting her up with a kiss. “Shut up. I love when you show me off, I love being your trophy”

“I don’t want you to think that’s all I see you as.”

“Ale, I know. You love me,” you smirked, lips just millimeters from hers.

“Brat.”

“You loveee me,” you sing-songed, playfully pecking her lips over and over again, your lipstick tinting her lips in a soft pink that just made you want to keep going and going.

The black car pulled up to what looked to be some kind of event center or hotel, again, you couldn’t bother yourself with the details when you knew Alexia would take care of everything.

The security guard escorted us in, not hesitating to lower his head in respect when he saw Alexia. You clocked her facial expression as you both strutted into the event, the subtle changes to her posture, her eyes darkening, her jaw clenching in the same way it did earlier. You felt her energy shift from the car to now; this was no longer your Ale, your wife, your love. No, this was Alexia Putellas. This was La Reina. Everyone knew not to mess with her or they should face the consequences. You were grateful to be on her arm and not a face in the crowd. Even in a room of potential danger, you felt as safe as you could by her side.

The next several hours were a blur of Alexia talking to various associates about god-knows-what. Honestly, you were just focused on her. The feeling that was buzzing underneath your skin, combined with the several drinks Alexia had gotten you from the bar, was begging to get out of that stuffy room and back home. “Ale,” you whispered in between conversations.

“Yes, carinyo?”

“How much longer do we have to stay?” You batted your eyelashes, giving your best pouty look that you knew she could never resist.

You saw the mask slip, her tough exterior fade for just a moment. “Not long, I promise. Stop it with the eyes, brat.”

I smirked in victory and leaned my head onto her shoulder as she led us away to another man she needed to converse with. Only a short while later, I felt an unfamiliar touch on my shoulder. Flinching further into Alexia, I looked up to see a man in a suit looking down at me with hungry eyes. “Quién es esta linda chica, Putellas?” he said, his voice slimy and sending shivers down my spine.

“Aléjate de ella antes de que te corte la garganta, Javier,” Alexia said, low and full of anger. She tugged you closer to her.

“Veo que la reina tiene una mascota ahora?”

Alexia took a deep breath before speaking again. “Podría matarte aquí mismo, y nadie vendría corriendo a por ti. Cuida tus palabras.”

Your Spanish wasn’t perfect, far from it, but you knew enough to know the gist of what was going on. And you weren’t sure you wanted to hear the specifics of how she was threatening that man, anyway. Once she was done her threat, she dragged both of you away to the entrance, already on the phone with the driver, making demands in rapid Catalan.

You didn’t dare speak until the driver safely deposited us at Alexia’s house. “Are you okay, Ale?” you said softly, almost worried she would explode again.

“Yes, princesa. I despise those men, every one of them. Even the thought that one of them would make you uncomfortable, let alone touch you, fills me with rage. I needed to leave before I did something I would regret doing in front of you.”

You clocked her choice of words immediately. In front of you. She would have killed that man like he was an ant in the blink of an eye if you were not watching, you were sure of it. The thought that she was willing to do such a thing in the name of protecting you filled you with heat. 

“I’m okay, baby, I promise. Thank you for protecting me. I loved seeing you in your element tonight, by the way.”

“Yeah? You liked that? Liked seeing me boss everyone else around for a change? Not just you?” Alexia’s hands were all over you, running over the smooth silk of your dress.

“Mhm…loved seeing everyone scared of you..” Alexia’s lips were barely a breath away from yours, ghosting over them to tease you.

“Everyone there was staring at you, mi vida. I could tell. They all wanted you. But you come home with me? Don’t you?” she whispered against your skin.

“Y-yes…’m yours..” Alexia’s smirk came back, stopping for a moment before her grip on your waist tightened and her lips moved to attack your neck. “Fuck, Ale. Mark me, please.”

Alexia groaned against your neck as she sucked a bruise to the spot below your ear that made you squirm in her hold.

“Ale, please. Please- bed,” you moaned out after what felt like a lifetime of Alexia biting and sucking at your neck and collarbones.

“What? Your little pussy can’t handle a little kissing? You need more of me?”

“Y-yes! Yes baby, I need more.”

Without a word, Alexia scooped me into her arms and carried me into the large master bedroom, placing you down in front of the dresser and large mirror that sat on top of it. Alexia stood behind you and softly kissed the back of your neck as she took off your jewelry. Her large hands ran down the back of your legs as she knelt down to undo the buckles of your heels. Her fingers grasped the zipper at the top of the dress and paused. “Keep your eyes on the mirror, princesa.”

You whimpered softly, bracing yourself on the dresser with my forearms as Alexia freed your body from the sleeveless black silk. The dress puddled around your ankles on the hardwood floor, leaving you in nothing but the red lace panties Alexia had picked out for you hours ago. “Every time I am amazed at how beautiful you are, darling. So perfect, and all mine.”

“Yours.” You gasped out at Alexia’s hands began wandering, wrapping around your front to softly knead your breasts. She dragged her fingertips lightly around your nipples, the feather-light touch on the hardened buds making you squirm. You watched her hands work like magic against your body in the mirror. You could feel you wetness gathering between your thighs, desperation growing. You were always desperate for Alexia, but how could you blame yourself? 

You resisted. Resisted the urge to let you head fall forward and eyes flutter closed in ecstasy. Resisted the urge to push your hips back into Alexia’s, silently begging. Resisted the urge to slip your own hand between your legs and get some kind of relief.

“All this,” she spoke in your ear as she lazily dragged her hands around your chest, back, stomach, and thighs, “is mine.”

“Yes..yes it’s yours. All yours. Alexia please.”

“Do you need more, carinyo?”

“Yes. Please.”

Her hands drifted down to your hips and toyed with the waistband of your panties for what felt like an eternity. You squirmed and whined, dropping your head to hang between your arms, the feeling of need becoming close to too much. You immediately felt one of Alexia’s hands snap up and tangle itself in your hair, yanking hard forcing your head back up, forcing you to make eye contact with yourself. The sharp prickles of pain from your scalp sent sparks straight to your core. You moaned, and Alexia tightened her grip.

“If you want me to touch you, watch. I won’t ask again.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Ale please.”

“Shhh…I’m gonna take care of you. Just keep those pretty eyes up there.” You managed a nod and a whine as her hands released your hair and returned to your hips, one of them snaking around to feel through the thin fabric convering your pussy. She hummed in satisfaction at the wetness she found there. “What is this, princesa? All for me, hm?”

At this point you didn’t have words, turned on beyond belief and using every ounce of self-control to keep your eyes where she wanted them. Another sharp tung on your hair had you gasping into the suddenly too-hot air of your bedroom. “Words, mi vida.”

“Y-yes! Yes, it’s all for you Alexia!” you choked out. She took her time, gliding her fingertips through your silky folds like she was mapping them out in her mind even though you both knew she already had it memorized like the back of her own hand. The rough pad of her thumb made sudden, rough contact with your clit, causing you to gasp and buck your hips back towards the source of your pleasure. Your high was building quickly, the tension coiling in your lower stomach and threatening to break in what should be considered an embarrassingly short amount of time. “A-Ale..Ale I’m gonna-”

“Not until I give you permission, remember?” You glanced behind you in the mirror to see Alexia’s biting smirk looking down at you. You whimpered but nodded your head, biting your tongue until you tasted copper to try and starve off the climax begging to overtake your body. The visual stimulation of seeing yourself, seeing the desperation and pleasure in your eyes as Alexia played your body like she was in an orchestra kept you dangerously close to the edge. Alexia’s thumb slowed it’s circles around your clit and her middle and index finger were inside you before you could even whine in protest. “I love feeling you squeeze around me carinyo. Who’s pussy is this? Hm?”

“Y-yours! Yours, yours, yours!”

The uncontrollable facial expressions you watched yourself make were downright sinful. Alexia’s words, low and husked and laced with the Catalan accent that made you weak in the knees in a normal atmosphere, only added to the growing mess between your legs when combined with the current context.

“That’s it, baby. Watch yourself fall apart. Watch how you give yourself to me. God, you look so perfect like this, don’t you think? I should just keep you like all the time, dripping and begging for me. Would you like that? My perfect, slutty, little toy for whenever I want?”

All you could do was whimper and nod as Alexia’s talented fingers hammered against all of your most sensitive spots.

“Alexia-! I need- needa’..please” you babbled incoherent nonsense as Alexia pushed you just to edge and kept you dangled there for what seemed like decades. Tears filled your eyes, falling down your flushed cheeks as you blinked them out to regain your vision.

“Don’t you dare take your eyes off the mirror. Watch your perfect eyes when you come for me,” Alexia hissed against the shell of your ear, attacking your neck in bites as she finally pushed you over the edge. The sounds that ripped from your throat were completely feral and animalistic. Alexia continued her movements, not stopping until you were writhing from the overstimulation. Your head dropped onto the dresser as you attempted to catch your breath. But Alexia, obviously, was not done. Her strong hands wrapped around your hips and dragged you over the bed, laying you down and knocking your legs open. You swore you could see her mouth watering, even through your post-orgasm haze that hadn’t even begun to fade, your heart still racing and your skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

“So good for me, watching yourself like that, coming so hard for me. Let me clean my girl up, and then you can help me out, okay?” You only nodded and took a deep breath. Alexia’s soft lips kissed your pussy, still sensitive and slightly raw from before. “I’ll be gentle, I promise,” you could feel the smirk against your skin and knew she wasn’t being entirely truthful, but you couldn’t find it to mind.

Alexia lapped gently at the arousal pooled in your folds, drinking it up like she had been craving it for weeks. She focused the tip of her tongue on your clit, eliciting a gasp from you and your hips to buck up. Not one to allow you any kind of control, she tossed your legs over her shoulders and linked her fingers over your stomach, effectively trapping you exactly where she wanted you. 

She alternated between sucking on your clit, fucking you with her tongue, and flattening her tongue against your folds, slowly building your arousal again until you were a shaking mess beneath her. “Ale-!”

“Shh, you’ve been good tonight. Come when you feel it.”

“Mmm- thank you thank you-“

You babbled out thanks and nonsense as another wave of your arousal flooded her mouth. She drank it up with no complaint and moved up to kiss you, your slick still coating her mouth and chin. You moaned, tasting yourself on her. 

She slid her hips up until her bare cunt was rested against your abdomen. She used your gasp as an opportunity to slide her tongue into your mouth as she grinded her soaked pussy along your abdominal muscles. You loved being used by her like this, even after two orgasms it sent sparks straight to your core.

Unsurprisingly, Alexia came fast after getting to toy with you for so long. She collapsed onto the sheets beside you, fingers coming up to trail imaginary paths along your side. “You okay, amor?”

“More than okay,” you hummed, turning you body to tuck your face into her neck and cuddle into her side.

“Good. You want a bath?”

“Only if you get in with me.”

“Brat. Deal..” Alexia smirked and moved gingerly up from the bed, taking your hand and supporting most of your weight on the way to the bathroom. She ran the bath with the utmost care, triple-checking the water temperature and that she had the scent that you preferred in the soap. Although you really didn’t care about all that, as long as you were in a warm bath, back pressed against Alexia’s chest, you would be content.

You sighed in satisfaction at the feeling of the hot water on your over exerted muscles. Alexia slid in behind you, carefully holding you against her chest with her strong arms. Your head leaned back to her shoulder and her lips pressed against your temple gently. 

After some time soaking in the bathtub, Alexia spoke, her voice miles away from the confident and powerful woman that had stepped into the event hours ago or fucked you to tears just minutes ago. “I’m sorry that man made you uncomfortable. I should have been keeping a better eye on you, and on everyone else.”

“Not your fault Ale, it’s okay. Don’t tell me what you said to him after though, okay?”

“That was the plan mi vida. I love you.”

“I love you more. Every version of you.”

[cherrygirlfriend]

MY READERS’ LOVE LANGUAGES

──── i thought it’d be an interesting idea to give you guys a bit of a peek into how my readers prefer to be shown love as a fun way to get to know them!!

pervert!reader ♡ physical touch.

i don't think anyone's surprised by this, but when i say physical touch, i don't just mean sex, even though she has a very high libido and it’s an easy way for her to show and receive the feeling of being wanted.

pervert!reader loves any kind of touching; cuddling, holding hands, kisses anywhere and everywhere, hugging… especially pda; it shows to her that her partner isn’t afraid to show her off, that they don’t care about what others might think.

physical touch and pda was awkward for rafe at first, but when he saw how happy it made her, he tried his best.

dreamy mlf!reader ♡ receiving gifts.

as someone who didn’t come from a well-off family, there’s something about a person who gives her something dreamy!milf needs or wants.

although she appreciates expensive presents, what she really covets, what she really craves is for someone to give her something they know she’d like, whether it was a bouquet of her favorite flowers, her favorite snack or an expensive necklace. as long as it’s given to her with thought behind it.

her husband, james, gets her expensive things. but he never seems to get anything he thinks she’d like; just what he thinks would look good on her.

housewife!reader ♡ quality time.

she doesn’t care what it is they do; it can be going on a week-long beach holiday, a dinner in an elegant restaurant or sitting on the couch in matching hoodies watching love island while potato chip crumbs coat their laps; as long as he’s next to her, everything feels alright.

lucky for her, the moment rafe comes home from work, he can’t stay away from her for even a second.

married ex-wife!reader ♡ acts of service.

although she sometimes gets insecure… rafe also knows how to make her feel better.

with both her current husband will, and her ex-husband rafe, she has most appreciated anything related to the son she shares with rafe, leo; he’s the most important thing in the world to her, and caring for him is like caring for her, but even before he came along, she always thought that actions speak louder than words.

although rafe had some difficulty with it during their marriage, he is determined to show her that he’s a changed man.

fragile fawn!reader ♡ words of affirmation.

everyone always made poor fragile fawn feel like she was insane, like she had no place in the world. so, she most appreciates it when she’s validated, when she’s told that she’s not crazy, and she didn’t deserve the bad things that have happened to her.

as someone who’s constantly been told that there’s something wrong with him, rafe understands her better than most, and understands her need for validation.

sunshine!reader ♡ quality time.

she’s clingy loving, and it’s hard for her to stay away from the ones she loves for too long. she loves showing people how much she cares for them, and the best thing you could ever gift her is your time.

although rafe grumbles about her being ‘an annoying, clingy menace’ he secretly loves how much she wants to spend time with him.

farmer's wife!reader ♡ acts of service.

as someone who’s been raised on a farm, someone who’s worked her entire life, she appreciates it when someone takes some of the load off her shoulders and instead chooses to take it up for themselves, and rafe usually takes care of everything outside of the house, while she takes care of the things and people inside.

sweetie!reader ♡ words of affirmation.

especially due to the complicated nature of their friendship/relationship, she appreciates when rafe validates his feelings towards her and tells her that he actually cares about her and that “she’s the only one he wants.”

taglist: @raahosh @nemesyaaa @purpleplumpudding @esotericcangel @mattyskies @bakugouswaif @nonietosay @my-name-is-baby @tinythebunni @fratbrochrisgf @ariieeesworld @silkylovey @izumis-salty-penis @flow33didontsmoke @cameronsbabydoll @love-ella333 @haylorbestie @k4yr14 @harringtonsbowgirl @lacelottie @st8rkey @lunaleah @cicicavill7 @lillied31 @doremimosasol @lerclec @deeninadream @finnickodairslut @constantsadness @drewsephrry @rafemeow cont. in com.

join the taglist! ♡

[lumiolivier]

Treasure in Alabasta Pt. 2

Series: One Piece

Chapter: One Shot

Word Count: 15148

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Cross Guild x Reader (YN)

AN: I had no intentions of this being as angsty as it turned out to be, but I've been working on this since February. And I just finished it last night. Enjoy the fruits of my labor.

It took some string pulling…And a lot of groveling, but you knew he could do it.  Crocodile got the two of you on the guest list to the gala at the palace in Alubarna.  And you couldn’t wait.  By the time you two got to Alubarna, you immediately started hitting the shops.  With Crocodile’s wallet, of course.  You deserved to spoil yourself through Crocodile.  Besides, even though you had plenty packed (that was Mihawk’s fault), you didn’t have anything worthy of a gala at the royal palace.  So, you made your way to the best dress shop Alubarna had to offer. 

You weren’t sure what color to go with.  You were certain that if you could find a color to jump off with, you’d be able to find something right then and there.  But you were coming up blank.  Although, your gut instinct said to go with something green.  Or at the very least, accented in green.  You wouldn’t have said no to a few emeralds somewhere on your being.  The thought of Crocodile draping an emerald necklace around you sent chills down your spine.  It was such an intimate thing for you.  And you would eat it up like it was your last meal. 

But you still needed something.  You knew one thing was for sure.  You couldn’t upstage the royal family.  Even though you knew Crocodile would only have his eyes on you.  That was the point of you two being together.  Still, it would be tacky if you showed up looking better than the ones hosting the party in the first place.  So, you started skimming your options.  And nothing was quite tickling your fancy.  At least not yet.  But you weren’t going to give up hope so easily.

“Oh!” another hand brushed against yours, “I’m sorry.  Were you going to pull this one?”

“No,” you shook your head, trying to peek through the rack, “Go ahead.”

“Thanks!” You might not have gotten a look at her, but she saw you instead.  And she even handed a different dress off to you, “Here.  Try this one.”

“You think so?” You took a long, black dress from her with some beautiful ruffling toward the bottom, “You don’t think it’d be too form fitting?”

“Is that not the point?” she smiled, “Besides, you definitely have the body to pull it off.”

“Thanks,” you bit the inside of your cheek, trying to hold back a smile.  You weren’t expecting your new friend to be so sweet, “I’m YN.”

“It’s nice to meet you, YN,” she chimed, “I’m Vivi.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Vivi,” you weren’t sure what it was about this girl, but she had an aura about her.  Kindness dripped out of her pores.  Sweetness shot out of her eyes.  And you were willing to give her pick a shot.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Vivi wondered, “What’s the occasion?”

“Occasion for what?” you asked.  Only for it to dawn on you in the next breath, “Oh!  The dress.”

“Mmhm,” Vivi nodded, “Something special?”

“I’d say so,” you scoffed, “The gala at the palace tonight.  My boyfriend and I managed to make the guest list.”

“Hey, me, too,” Vivi picked out something lighter than what she handed you.  Something a little looser, “It’s good to know I’ll at least know one person there.  Other than my father.”

“Likewise,” you agreed, “I love my boyfriend.  Don’t get me wrong.  But if we end up getting into it later that night, it’ll be nice to know I’ll have a shoulder to lean on.”

“Sounds like you and your boyfriend have some problems,” Vivi sighed out, ��Or is that just a normal day for you two?”

“Are you from Alabasta, Vivi?” you asked.

“Mmhm.  Born and raised.”

“So,” you bit your lip, “You probably know my boyfriend.  He used to be a pretty prominent figure around here.”

“Really?” Vivi started to look a little nervous, “Why did he used to be a prominent figure?”

“Look,” you knew you were going to have to have this conversation eventually.  You were involved with pirates.  All three of the men you loved were pirates.  And prominent and powerful pirates.  And Buggy.  But you knew you had to be prepared for this moment.  If by chance you were to make a new friend, you were going to have to explain your boys eventually.  Considering you were in Alabasta, you knew Crocodile wasn’t exactly beloved around those parts anymore, “You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“I have a hunch,” Vivi admitted, “I thought it was strange that Crocodile was put on the list, but even stranger yet, he had a plus one.  I’m guessing that plus one is you.”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, “So?  Do you hate me now, too?”

“Why would I hate you?” Vivi wondered, “Did you do something awful?  Especially to the people of Alabasta?”

“No,” you shook your head, “I just ended up shipwrecking on the beach of Kuraigana Island and…Well, I ended up meeting Crocodile and some of his associates.  And we just kind of fell from there.”

“So, you’re a part of the Cross Guild?”

“Yes and no.” Vivi looked at you strangely, not entirely following you, “I’m seeing Crocodile, yes.  I am his plus one tonight, but…On other nights, I’m also Mihawk’s plus one.  And Buggy’s plus one.  We’re all seeing each other.  I’m in their shared custody.  I couldn’t pick between them, so I picked all of them instead.”

“Oh,” Vivi let it go, “So, you’re…Sleeping with Crocodile.”

“Yes,” you weren’t ashamed of that.  Although, you had a feeling Vivi wanted you to be a little ashamed of that.  Still, you had nothing to be ashamed of.  You had the protection of one of the most powerful men in the world right now.  Granted, not at that very second.  Crocodile had to get your lodgings for the evening situated.  And you needed something to wear for that gala. But you had nothing to be ashamed of.  You weren’t with Crocodile when he caused his chaos in Alabasta.  You didn’t even know about any of the unrest in Alabasta then.  You were still just delivering cargo, “He’s gotten better, Vivi.  He’s not the man you knew.”

“Really?” Vivi wasn’t entirely believing you.  You could feel it in her tone, “In what ways?”

“He’d kill me for saying this,” you chuckled to yourself, “But he’s gone soft.  The love of a good woman made him soft.  All three of them, actually.  The second I ended up on Kuraigana Island, Crocodile wanted me kicked off.  But I was too weak to do much of anything.  But he helped get me back on my feet.  And then, he put me on my back and life has been all uphill since.  You don’t have to believe that Crocodile is a decent human being now, but don’t be so quick to write him off either.”

“YN, he withheld water from my people and was responsible for a civil war in this country.  Then, he almost blew up Alubarna,” Vivi pointed out, “Excuse me for not immediately wanting to be his best friend.”

“That’s understandable,” you weren’t expecting miracles.  But you knew better than anyone that people could change.  You had two former warlords at your feet.  And you knew more about Crocodile than the layperson.  You knew that anyone was capable of change.  And no one in your life had changed more than Crocodile. 

“By the way,” Vivi started walking off with a long, soft pink dress in her hand, “The black dress really will do you favors.  I need to be going.  I’ll see you tonight.”

“Bye.” You waved Vivi off, not sure if you still had a new friend.  But you made a mental note to ask Crocodile about Vivi later.

You started heading out from the dress shop with that black dress in hand and took a little stroll through the streets of Alubarna.  You had agreed to meet up with Crocodile later, but you didn’t know where you were supposed to meet him.  Fortunately, the man stood out in a crowd, so you’d be able to spot him instantly.

However, you weren’t going to be able to see him over the man that had just blocked your path, “Hi there.”

“Hello,” you weren’t going to think much about him.  You just thought people in Alubarna were friendly.  Vivi was friendly with you…at first.  You figured all of them would be like that. 

“Where you headed, sweetheart?” Hearing him call you sweetheart made your stomach turn.

“To meet up with my husband,” you brushed him off.  He didn’t need to know Crocodile wasn’t your husband.  He didn’t even need to know if you were married.  You just wanted him to go.

“Well, that’s nice,” he continued to impede your progress.  And you wanted to punch him.  You had better places to be and certainly didn’t want to deal with him anymore, “You like your husband?”

“I love my husband,” you tried your best to shake him, but to no avail, “Do you mind?  I have somewhere to be.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, “I might know where it is.”

“None of your business,” you tried to push past, but he immediately grabbed your arm, “Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t,” he pulled you a little closer to him, “Here’s what’s going to happen, sweetheart…”

“What’s going to happen, sweetheart?” a familiar voice thundered over him.  And you had never been so grateful for that voice.

“Do you mind, man?” the vile creature tried to play it off, “I’m trying to take my girlfriend out.”

“I don’t think that’s your girlfriend,” he looked over to you, “Do you know this guy?”

“Never met him a day in my life,” you stood firm.

“That’s just a little game we play,” the man tried to cradle your cheek in his palm, but you didn’t want him anywhere near you.

“I’m sure it is,” he put an arm around your waist.  And you weren’t going to fight that one, “Next time you try to play that game, try it with someone else’s wife.  And leave mine out of it.”

The man went pale.  And he had every right to, “Your wife…?”

“My wife,” he kept walking with you, going as far as to kiss the top of your head, “You alright, princess?”

Only one man called you princess.  But for him, you’d make an exception, “Yeah.  I’ll be ok.”

“Good,” he gave you a little nod, “Now, wait right here.  I have some business to take care of.”

“Don’t let me stop you.” Because you had a feeling you knew what that business was going to be.

“Thank you,” he shot you a wink and turned his attention back to the scumbag that wanted to put his hands where they didn’t belong, “Hey!”

“You know what?” the man came back.  Because of course, he did, “You’re not her husband, are you?  Do you mind?  I had some business with the young lady.”

“No,” your temporary husband made sure that if you were any closer, you would occupy the same space, “I do mind.  Do you have any idea who I am?  Who I know?  How well protected this woman is?”

“I’m sure…” The man was so adorably clueless. It brought a smile to your face.

“Let’s see…” he began his headcount, “The Revolutionary Army, who listen to every word I say like gospel.  The Strawhat Pirates, who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for me.  Then, there’s the Cross Guild.  And one of their highest just happens to be in town right now.”

“And what does the Cross Guild have to do with her?”

“Who do you think they answer to?” You were done playing from the sidelines, “Two former warlords and an easily excitable clown with just as much bark as he has bite at my beck and call.  I am one of the most well protected human beings on the face of the planet.  All I need to do is call out for my scary dog and you will limp out of here with rabies.”

“It’s not their bark I’m worried about…” he kept on getting a little too close and ended up with a fist in his face.  And he fell flat on his back.

“I’ll ask again,” an arm draped around your shoulders, “You alright, princess?”

“I’m good now,” you curled into your savior, “Thanks, Dragon.  What are you doing in Alubarna?”

“I’m not allowed to travel?” Dragon scoffed, taking you away from the small disaster.  He pulled a communicator snail out from his pocket and pressed the button, “There’s a mess in the alley to the west of the dress shop.  Go clean that up.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you.” Dragon let that communicator snail get comfortable back in his pocket.

And you could feel sweat rolling down your neck, “What did you just do?”

“You think Crocodile doesn’t have Baroque Works agents all over the place?” Dragon chuckled to himself, “They’re not called a couple and a few, YN.  They’re the Millions and Billions for a reason.”

“So,” you started to put the pieces together, “Crocodile sent you to watch over me?”

“If I tell you yes,” Dragon crossed his fingers, “Does that mean you’ll be pissed?”

“No,” You shook your head, “Not at you.  You were just doing a job.  And I’m grateful you were there for me, sweetheart.”

“Oh, God…”

“So, pookie,” you wrapped yourself around Dragon’s arm, “Where to now?”

“YN…”

“A nice picnic maybe?” You weren’t going to let this one go.  You wanted to have a little bit of fun, too.

“YN…” And you could see the mild aggravation on Dragon’s face.

“Ooh!  Maybe a cute little café?” you suggested, eating this up like it was your last meal, “That sounds nice.”

“YN.” Unfortunately, Dragon decided to be a buzzkill.

“You never take me out anymore…” you pouted, “I’m starting to think you’re ashamed of me.”

“YN…” Dragon could fight it all he wanted.  As irritating as it was, he wasn’t going to fight you.

“I knew it,” you really put on a show.  Right there in the middle of the street, “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

“You caught me,” Dragon caved, “There’s someone else.”

“Who is this hussy?” you clutched your chest, suddenly gaining an audience, “What’s her name?”

“It used to be Wani,” Dragon caught a glimpse of a familiar face sitting outside the café with a cloud of smoke billowing out of it, “But she changed too much…She’s not like you, sweetheart.  She’ll never be you.  Can you ever forgive me?”

“Well…” You let out a dramatic sigh, “I don’t know…”

“Take him back, honey!” An older lady yelled to you.

“No way!” another barked, “Once cheating scum, always cheating scum!”

“YN,” Dragon leaned into you, “What the hell are you doing?”

“I think…” You wrapped your arms around Dragon and hugged him tight, “I think I can forgive you…”

“Thank you,” Dragon kissed the top of your head, “But still, what the hell are you doing?”

“Thank you all for coming!” you took a bow, “We’ll be doing a five city tour in three months!  Thank you!”

A sudden eruption of confused applause broke out.  And Dragon, bless his soul, was still incredibly lost, “So, what was that?”

“A little unintended and impromptu street performance,” you shrugged him off, “You were an excellent scene partner, Dragon.  Thank you.”

“What was that all for?” Dragon wondered.

“To distract the crowd from the potential ass beating the other guy’s getting right now,” you clarified, “See?  There was a purpose for that.”

“You really need to stop hanging around the clown, YN,” a familiar voice rumbled through your chest, “It’s not good for you.”

“Croccy!” you hopped the barrier and made yourself comfortable in his lap, “Hi, baby.”

“Hi, Princess,” Crocodile held you tight, “Thank you, Dragon.”

“No problem,” Dragon gave him a nod, “She’s lucky I got to her when I did.”

“What happened?” Crocodile suddenly grew very concerned very quickly.

“There was a guy,” Dragon reported, “A very stupid guy who thought he could get his hands on YN.  He didn’t.”

“And Dragon and I were married,” you smiled.

“Please,” Crocodile ran his fingers down your spine, “Like Dragon would ever get married.  Sister, I tried barking up that tree.  Not happening.”

“Really?” your ear pricked up, “You and Dragon were talking marriage?”

“What did you say back then, Dragon?” Crocodile chided, “That you weren’t meant to be tied down?”

“I’m still not meant to be tied down,” Dragon argued, “I have shit to do.  An army to command.”

“Didn’t stop you from knocking me up,” Crocodile lit up a fresh cigar while the old one smoldered out, “I’d say that’s awfully tying.”

“Did I raise the kid?” Dragon pointed out, “Did you?  No.  And why was that?  Because we both had shit going on.  The kid needed to live on, but that’s what we had the old man for.”

“And look how that turned out,” Crocodile pouted, “A warlord and a revolutionary have a baby and hand it over to that revolutionary’s vice admiral of a father.  God only knows what kind of disaster that was on Luffy.”

“He turned out ok,” Dragon shrugged, “I mean, he’s going to be king one day.  You and I both know that.”

“Of course, I do,” Crocodile brushed him off, “But enough of that.  Thank you, Dragon.  I appreciate you bringing my Princess back to me unscathed.”

“About that,” you brought the attention on yourself, just to give Dragon his out, “Did you send Dragon to stalk me?”

“No,” Crocodile shook his head, “I sent Dragon to keep an eye on you and make sure nothing happened to you.  Along with a couple of Baroque Works agents.  But I can explain, YN.  Like I said.  I never wanted anything to happen to you.  I am still generally not liked around here.  I just wanted to make sure you were still safe.”

“Because I can’t protect myself?”

“It’s not that at all,” Crocodile clarified, “You shouldn’t have to protect yourself.  We hire people for shit like that, Princess.  It’s not to say that you can’t protect yourself.  I know you can.  I’ve seen the clown’s head go down the hall more than once.  And it’s impressive every time.  But not everyone is as easy for you to fight as Buggy.  Forgive me for wanting to set my own mind at ease.”

You couldn’t be mad at him for that.  You understood why he did what he did.  You didn’t have to like it, but you understood.  You pulled Crocodile’s cigar out of his mouth and got a sweet, smoky kiss out of him, “Ok.”

“Ok,” Crocodile smiled a bit, “Now, give me my cigar back, Princess.  Or we’re going to have a problem.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” you put Crocodile’s cigar back anyway.  It’s not like you were going to keep it.  It tasted much better secondhand than directly from the end anyway.

“Oh, I’d take you back to our room for the night,” Crocodile threatened, “Don’t think I wouldn’t take you over my knee.”

“I bet you’re fun at parties,” you teased him.

“You’ll see tonight,” Crocodile held you a little tighter, “Speaking of, do I get to see what’s in the bag or do I just have to imagine it?”

“You’ll see it tonight,” you assured him, “But I didn’t pick it out.  I might have made a friend in the dress shop.”

“Good for you, YN,” Crocodile gave you a little nudge, “It’s nice to know you’re socializing.”

“She was a sweet girl, too,” you remembered, “But she also knew who you were, too.  And she knows we’ll be at the palace tonight together.”

“Great,” Crocodile grumbled, “Someone else who hates me.”

“Don’t be like that,” you settled him, “I’m sure you two can manage for my sake.  I mean, I got the vibe from Vivi that she doesn’t hold a gru-”

“Hold on, YN,” Crocodile stopped you, his eyes doubling in size, “Did you just say you made friends with Vivi?”

“I think that’s what she said her name was,” you thought back, “But anyway…”

“You…” Crocodile let out a little gasp, “You have no clue who you just met, do you?”

“She was the one who picked my dress out, too,” you brushed him off, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“YN,” Crocodile chuckled to himself, “That wasn’t just your new friend Vivi.  That was Princess Vivi, sweetheart.”

“What?” your heart stopped.  You were in the delivery business a long time before you ended up washing up on Kuraigana Island.  You were no stranger to royalty on the Grand Line.  But never in a million years would you have thought the woman you met in the dress shop was a princess.  She seemed so…normal.  Like she would fit in with the common people and blend in so well.  Nothing about her screamed royalty to you.

“Oh, yeah,” Crocodile nodded, “I bet that was Princess Vivi.  We’ll be seeing her tonight.  I can promise you that.  Well…I say Princess Vivi.  She was Miss Wednesday when I knew her.”

“Miss Wednesday?” you wondered, “Why was she Miss Wednesday?”

“Because, YN,” Crocodile explained, “She used to work for me.  Until I found out she was undercover.  She knew I was up to something, so she infiltrated Baroque Works to get her information.  Hate to say it, but she got pretty far.  I’ll give her credit for that.  But that didn’t mean I had to like it.  Still, I’m in shock she was so ok with adding us to the guest list.”

“Kind of figured,” you remembered back to the dress shop, “She wasn’t overly thrilled to find out who I was the plus one of.  We were totally cool with each other until then, though.”

“You know,” Crocodile purred in your ear, “I’d love to see what you picked out, Princess.  Would it be something Mihawk would approve of?”

“Only on his week, baby,” you melted into Crocodile’s arms, “Only on his week.  And only if he was the only one to see it.  But this isn’t about Mihawk.  This is about you.”

“Just out of curiosity,” Crocodile wondered, “Just because you’re spending this trip with me, that doesn’t mean I have to give up my week, does it?”

“You’re getting a couple weeks,” you pointed out, “But no.  I will still be with you for your week.  But we’ll probably start counting it as Buggy’s week once we get back.”

“Boo,” Crocodile whined, “Why does it have to be the fucking clown’s week?”

“Because his week comes after your week,” you kissed his cheek, “That’s the way it’s always been.  It goes Mihawk’s week, your week, Buggy’s week, and then, my week off to recoup and bleed out.  Simple as that.”

“I know,” Crocodile pouted, “Come on.  Let’s go back to the inn.  I want to see that pretty dress of yours on that beautiful body.”

“You will, you will,” you blushed a bit.  Crocodile had that effect on you.  He knew what button to push to see a little flash of color in those cheeks.

“By the way,” Crocodile nudged you off his lap, “You’re good enough to put yourself together, right?  You don’t need me making calls for a salon or anything, do you?”

“I got it,” you assured him.  Because if you could take care of Buggy, you could certainly take care of yourself.  Did you really want to?  Not really, but you weren’t going to shrivel up and die if you had to. 

“And…” Crocodile bit the inside of his cheek, “YN…Remember the last party we threw at the castle?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “What about it?”

“Could you…” Crocodile got a little fidgety.  You knew right then and there what he was trying to say, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“Crocodile,” you held his face in your hands so delicately, “Are you saying you want me to do your braids again?”

“Please?”

“Of course,” you snuck in one little kiss and grabbed your bag, “Come on.  Let’s get to the inn.  Rumor has it, someone wants to see me in this pretty dress I picked out.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Crocodile grabbed your wrist, his grip nice and tight just the way you liked it, “I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather see it puddled around your ankles later tonight.  But we can wait for that, can’t we?”

You weren’t sure how long you’d be able to wait for it, but you could hold out.  Just a little.  Maybe if you were lucky, Crocodile might feel a bit adventurous later in your evening at the palace.  Maybe he’d want to find a guest room.  Or a coat closet.  Or an abandoned section of the library where you two could discuss your favorite pieces of literature.

But it was getting to be crunch time.  You two needed to get moving or you were going to be late.  Crocodile already had a little bit of a reputation around Alubarna.  The least you two could do is show up on time.  When you got back to your room, you noticed someone had been in there.  Your bathroom was fully stocked with any type of beauty product you could possibly need.  You knew Crocodile had something to do with it.  Even though you had a small makeup bag already packed.  Still, it’d be rude if they had already gone through all the trouble and you didn’t use it. 

And once you were all together, you looked absolutely stunning.  You came by Crocodile calling you princess honestly.  But then, you got a better look at your prince in the mirror.  If there was one thing about Crocodile that you never had to doubt, it was this.  That man looked damn good in a nicely fitting suit.  And much like how he wanted your dress on the floor, you were no better.  It was like getting a present.  Such a shame to tear through that pretty wrapping paper.

“YN,” Crocodile poked his head in the bathroom, getting a better look at you.  And yet, much like every other party you’ve been to with him, he was rendered speechless.

“Yes, Crocodile,” you ran your fingers up his chest, “Is there something you’d care to tell me?”

“I…” Crocodile was dumbfounded.  It wasn’t often he got like this, but when he did, you ate that up.  Especially since you were the reason for it anyway.

“Sit down, baby,” you pulled out the stool from under the vanity, “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Ok,” Crocodile did as you asked without a single fuss.  He knew why he was there.  You knew why he was there.  And the clear elastics on the counter knew why he was there, too.  You weren’t expecting them to be there, but that’s when it hit you.  Chances are, this was premeditated.  Crocodile knew you’d say yes whether he had any gel or not.  You saw some on the counter.  A full bottle.  And yet, there you were, running little braids down the side of Crocodile’s head.

It was an oddly therapeutic process.  You weren’t complaining.  You were more than happy to do it for him.  He asked nicely.  Who were you to say no to that face?  But you could tell.  Something was making him uneasy.  He needed to mellow out for a bit.  You weren’t going to make him talk.  You knew better than that.  Crocodile and his emotions didn’t necessarily get along sometimes.  And you didn’t want to put him through that before a public appearance.  So, you did the next best thing.  You tied off your first braid and left a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?” Crocodile wondered, watching you walk off.

A cigar box sat on the dresser.  Because you knew something didn’t feel right.  Something was missing.  And you knew Crocodile was anxious.  He didn’t want to go to this gala.  He didn’t want to have to mingle amongst the Alabasta royalty.  Not after everything he did.  But you sat in his lap with a freshly cut cigar in your hand and put it in his mouth. 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Princess,” Crocodile held you steady, “But it’s kind of pointless without…”

You were already ahead of him.  You pulled a lighter from your pocket and lit the end for him, “You were saying…?”

“Fuck, I love you,” Crocodile pulled that cigar out of his mouth and gave you a well deserved kiss, “How is it you know just how to make me feel better?”

“You’re indulging me with this party tonight, Crocodile,” you pointed out, “The least I can do is make it manageable for you.”

“It’s been too long since I’ve been to a good party anyway,” Crocodile shrugged you off.  Even though you knew that was a lie, “I’m overdue.”

“If you wanted to go to a good party,” you argued, going back to your braiding, “You and I would already be on our way back to Kuraigana Island and you’d be up Mihawk’s ass about it.  Now, are you going to try that one again?”

“I said a good party,” Crocodile retaliated, “You’ve never been to one of Cobra’s parties.  They’re fantastic.  They put Mihawk’s to shame.  At least half of the Alabasta military gets trashed and nine times out of ten, they end up in one of my casinos and I end up making a shit ton of money.  Everyone wins.  Except them, but that’s here nor there.”

“You really are something else…”

“I’m just the worst,” Crocodile cracked a smile behind his cigar.  And you knew in that moment that everything was going to be ok.

Purupurupuru…

Purupurupuru…

“Don’t everyone get up at once,” you stole a little kiss off Crocodile’s cheek and grabbed the transponder snail.  You could only assume the call was coming from inside the house.  Or in your case, the castle, “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Hey, doll…” You weren’t expecting to hear Buggy on the other end, but you weren’t mad about it.

“Buggy!” you couldn’t help but smile, “Hey, baby.  It’s good to hear your voice again.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that, YN,” Buggy chirped, “Because I want you to come home.  Like…Now would be a great time.”

“I can’t do that right now,” you got a better look at yourself in the mirror.  Sure, the dress was working for you, but you still had to finish Crocodile and then, you’d get to work on yourself.  And that gala was coming sooner rather than later, “I have places to be tonight.”

“And where do you think you’re going, young lady?”

“Seriously, Clown?” Crocodile’s voice thundered from the bathroom, “You really think you get to call the shots with her tonight?”

“Well,” Buggy started to backtrack, “No.  I understand that it’s your time with her right now, but that’s because you decided to bring her with you to Alabasta!  That’s not fair!”

“It’s entirely fair,” Crocodile assured him, “If you wanted to take her somewhere, you’re welcome to it, too.  So long as the proper paperwork has been filed.”

“Wait,” Buggy thought back, “Since when did you two get pen and ink involved in your Alabasta trip?”

“New rule implemented recently,” Crocodile took the transponder snail out of your hand, “And it needs to be agreed on by all members of the house.  Including YN’s biggest mother hen.”

The other end went quiet for a moment or two, “Mihawk?”

“Worse than Mihawk,” Crocodile nudged him along.

“Shit…” Buggy grumbled, “Perona.”

“You get Perona to sign off on it, she’s yours,” Crocodile insisted, “But she needs to approve.”

“Give,” you stuck your hand out, waiting for the transponder snail to come back.

“Come on, YN,” Crocodile awed, trying to talk his way out of upsetting you, “You know you’re more than just a commodity to me.”

“Uh-huh,” you weren’t falling for it.  That pretty face only got him so far, “Give.”

“Fine,” Crocodile had a bad habit of screwing with Buggy.  Mihawk, too.  Only Mihawk was a bit sneakier about it.  Crocodile surrendered the transponder snail.

“Thank you,” you sent him back to the bathroom, “Buggy?  Still there?”

“Of course,” Buggy swore, “Like I’d ever hang up on you.  Crocodile, yes.  You?  Never.”

“One of these days,” you held your face in your hands, “One of these days, I’m going to make it so you boys finally get along and aren’t regularly waging psychological warfare against each other.”

“In all fairness, YN,” Buggy pointed out, “It’s mostly just Mihawk and Crocodile ganging up on me.”

“And eventually, you’ll all play nice,” you rolled your eyes, “Please tell me that Mihawk’s behaving himself while I’m gone.”

“He has for the most part,” Buggy confirmed, “But that’s because of Rayleigh.  If it were just us and Perona home, I’d be fucked.”

“So, I’ll ask the important questions…How are you, Buggy?”

“Eh, can’t complain,” Buggy reported, “What about you?  Where are you and your asshole for the evening running off to?”

“Buggy…”

“Fine, fine,” Buggy stopped himself, “Where are you and Crocodile going tonight?”

“The palace in Alubarna,” you told him, “I’m anticipating a mess, but hoping for the best.”

“Such a way with words, YN,” Buggy swooned, “Wait a goddamn minute, you’re going to the royal palace of the royal family of Alabasta…With Crocodile?”

“I know,” you sighed out, throwing yourself onto your bed, “It’s a wacky world we live in.  But somehow, Crocodile managed to pull all the strings he needed to get us on the guest list.  The fact that I kind of made friends with the princess earlier today had nothing to do with it.”

“Look at you, coming up in the world,” Buggy jabbed, “We’re so proud.  I wish I could see you, doll.  Bet you’re a stunner.”

“Keep an eye on the papers.” You peeked over at Crocodile in the bathroom, watching him twiddle his thumbs and his cigar come to an end.  You knew you’d have to remedy that quickly, “There’s no way Crocodile shows up at the Alabasta royal palace and it goes undocumented.”

“If he has his way, it will be,” Crocodile called out, “You know what?  At this point, I’m just impressed the castle’s still standing.”

“Fuck you, too, Crocodile!”

“No…” Even when they’re miles and miles apart, you still had to keep your boys from killing each other, “That’s what we have Rayleigh for.  Speaking of, Buggy, not that I don’t trust you with the house, but can you put Rayleigh on for me?”

“About that,” Buggy started to remember his whole reason for his call, “Not that it hasn’t been just wonderful having old man Rayleigh around, but if you and Croccy need to go on another romantic getaway to Alabasta again, you don’t need to call him back.”

“Is everything ok…?” The other end went quiet.  And you knew right then and there, things may not have been good.  They never were when Buggy finally shut up, “Buggy…?  You need to talk, baby?”

“It’s just been…” Buggy sighed out, “I miss you, doll.  It’s been rough.  You have to think, YN.  It’s the first time we’ve been away from you since you got here.  First time you’re out to sea and it’s with Crocodile…”

“I’m sure you and Mihawk could’ve joined us.”

“Yes, YN,” Crocodile rolled his eyes, “Bring the two biggest attention whores in the Grand Line somewhere we need to keep a low profile.”

“Would you like to talk to Buggy, Crocodile?” You handed off the transponder snail, “Because the way you keep putting your two berries in, I’d think you did.”

“I…” Clearly, you caught Crocodile a bit off guard.  Not something done often.  Not something done easily.  But when it happened, you always took a little bit of satisfaction in it.

“You know what?” You walked back into the bathroom and brought the transponder snail with you, letting it get comfortable on the counter, “Go ahead, sweetheart.  You’re more than welcome to.”

“I feel like I caught you two in the middle of something,” Buggy started to back off, “I can call back later.”

“It’s fine, Buggy,” you assured him, “You want to know what you caught us in the middle of?”

“That’s between you two…”

“I’m wrist deep in doing Crocodile’s hair, you weirdo,” you giggled a bit, the sudden tension dissipating.

“I thought that was something he did himself.”

“Until I came into the picture,” you left a little kiss on the side of Crocodile’s head, “And someone ran out of gel.  And someone else was a goddamn genius.  You’re welcome.”

“Thank you, Princess,” Crocodile took your hand, “I knew we didn’t boot you for a reason.”

“Glad you didn’t.”

“I never wanted to kick you out, YN,” Buggy told you, “I had to fight Crocodile for you.”

“Bullshit, you didn’t!” Crocodile immediately jumped on the defensive, “You wanted her to leave the second she washed up!”

“Yeah, Buggy,” you winced, “Hate to break it to you, babe, but I know you wanted to boot me.”

“Your memories are a little hazy,” Buggy went on, “You were pretty out of it in those early days.”

“No,” you put your foot down, knowing much better than that, “Don’t try and use my fuzzy mental state as a weapon, Buggy.  That’s a dick move.  I remember it clearly.  You wanted me gone.  Because…And I want to see if I’m getting this right…That if you take someone new on like me, you end up with less for the rest of you.  Crocodile?  Is that right?”

“That seems familiar,” Crocodile naturally took your side, “Yeah.  I think Buggy wanted to kick you out.  Mihawk wanted to keep you.  I wanted you nursed back to health and then, dropped at the next port.  Yeah.  That’s right.”

“Thanks, Crocodile,” Buggy groaned, “I appreciate the solid.”

“I don’t like you, Buggy,” Crocodile reminded him, “You’re a raging pain in my ass.  Why would I take your side against YN?”

“Valid point.”

“So,” you brought the conversation back, “About you and Rayleigh.  Things are good?  Yeah?”

“Things are…iffy,” Buggy explained, “I’m done being treated like a kid in my own house.  So, you can come home any time, YN.”

“Probably within the next few days,” Crocodile thought, “We’ll be on our way home then.  I think you can manage until then, yeah?”

“I guess…” Buggy let it go, “Wait, does that mean if you and YN are on your way home in the next couple days, I can boot Rayleigh out then?”

“No,” you stepped in, “That means we’ll be back home soon.  Then, I can boot Rayleigh out.  Alright?  Can we live until then?”

“I guess so…”

“Thank you,” you smiled a bit, “I love you, Buggy.  I’ll let you off the hook about me talking to Rayleigh, but I’ll call in the morning, ok?”

“Ok,” Buggy chirped, “Love you, too, doll.  Miss you, Croccy.”

“I miss you, too, Buggy,” Crocodile ended the call, “And that’s when I get better aim.”

“Crocodile,” you settled him, “You and Buggy really need to get along better.  I mean, I can trust you and Mihawk alone in a room together.  But the second I turn my back, you two are the cattiest bitches toward Buggy.”

“That’s because Buggy was just supposed to be our scapegoat,” Crocodile groaned, “And then, he became an integral part of the organization.  He’s exasperating.”

“Don’t I know it,” you tied off the last braid, “But I manage.  You should, too.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Crocodile shoved a finger in your face.

“Likewise, baby,” you kissed his cheek, “I’m done with you.  You want me gel them down, too?  Just to make sure they stay?”

“You don’t have to,” Crocodile shot you down, “But thank you, Princess.  I greatly appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” you sat in Crocodile’s lap, “Does this mean you’re going to take care of me now?”

“If I had half an idea of how to do anything you needed, YN,” Crocodile wrapped his arms around you, “I would be more than happy to.  But you got me, not Mihawk.  And sure as hell not the damn clown.”

“Crocodile…”

“Buggy,” Crocodile corrected himself, “But you got that covered, don’t you?”

“Of course,” you got up from his lap, “I mean, you did get me everything I need, right?”

“Of course,” Crocodile nodded, “Maybe I could sit and watch.  That way, I have some semblance of an idea the next time one of these things come up.”

“I got it, Crocodile,” you promised, kissing his forehead, “Go ahead.  I got me handled.”

“Alright,” Crocodile left you in the bathroom and got another cigar.  He cracked open a window, letting the smoke get out of the room. 

However, the thought of putting any effort into yourself after putting it all into Crocodile felt like pulling teeth.  At this point, you wanted to put an end to the party altogether.  But you knew you couldn’t do that.  It wasn’t your party.  And Crocodile had put too much effort into getting you both onto that guest list.  You didn’t ask him what he had to do.  You didn’t want to know.  That was Crocodile’s business.  If he wanted to share that with you some day when he was comfortable with it, then that was his prerogative. 

But you also put all that effort into making him look decent.  You knew what he had done.  You knew he had somewhat atoned for it.  And you wanted to be on the arm of your man for the night.  Was that too much to ask?  Besides, it was not difficult to keep your eyes on him for the evening.  And you were going to glut yourself on food and wine and in a perfect world, indulge in the most incredible sex you can get in Alabasta.  It was that kind of a night. 

With that sentiment in your heart, you could plow through that exhaustion and pull yourself together.  Besides, you might have put a dent in Crocodile’s bank account earlier that afternoon on that pretty dress you got for the occasion.  You were going to wear it tonight.  And if certain cards got played right, it was going to end up balled up in the corner of your hotel room later.

After a little fleck of makeup and a few stray bobby pins, you weren’t half bad.  You got one last look at yourself in the mirror and decided you were good enough.  You knew that no matter what, when you walked out of that bathroom, you knew Crocodile would still drool over you and give you a nice little swat to the butt on the way out.  It’s just how you two worked.  And you were not complaining.  Still, you were cute in the right light.  And you were alright with it.

“Well?” That didn’t mean you didn’t want to still hear it straight out of Crocodile’s mouth.  The validation was always nice, too, “Am I good enough to be at the palace?”

“Of course, you are, Princess,” Crocodile got an eyeful of you.  And there was something in those eyes.  Something dark and primal.  And you were here for it.  Oh, yeah.  That dress was going to end up in the corner of the hotel room tonight, “I couldn’t have picked anything better myself.  Even when I was wearing shit like this, I still couldn’t have picked better.”

“You were wearing shit like this?” you let out a little gasp.

“Back when Dragon and I were still together,” Crocodile nodded, giving you a little spin.

“Lucky Dragon,” you poked at him a bit, “You think Dragon’s going to be there tonight, too?”

“Probably not,” Crocodile shook his head, “Dragon didn’t do parties.  He’d just get anxious and uncomfortable and getting him to sit still was next to impossible.  I had to be the one to handle it if we ever got invited to fancy parties like this.  I don’t know if you picked this up, YN, but he’s kind of a baby.”

“Really?” you giggled, “Dragon?”

“Dragon,” Crocodile held his face in his hands, “My god, YN…Can we be done yet?  My suit’s too tight.  The food looks weird.  How do people eat this?  Why did you cut me off?  Why can’t I keep drinking?  Wani, can we leave?  Wani, can we leave?  Wani, can we leave?  It was fucking insufferable.  It’s a miracle I never killed him then.”

“It’s because he’s cute,” you pointed out, “And you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“In those days?” Crocodile scoffed, “Oh, yeah.  He got better with age, too.  Lucky son of a bitch…”

“Hey,” you got in a little closer, wrapping your arms around his waist.  Granted, there was no way your fingers were going to touch, but you wouldn’t have had it any other way, “Do you hear me complaining?”

“No…” a little smile graced crocodile’s face.

“Damn right, no,” you kissed his cheek, “Now, I put in effort on both of us.  We’re both going to the palace.  You ready yet?”

“I’ve been ready, Princess,” Crocodile took your hand, “You realize this might get messy.”

“And?” you rolled your eyes, “Since when is anything we do not attached to a little bit of a mess?”

“Valid point.”

And so, your night began.  It was time you got to go play at the palace.  You thought back to when you and Crocodile made landfall in Alabasta.  If any Marines asked, you never met the man.  If any authority asked, you didn’t know who Crocodile was.  And yet, the Princess of Alabasta knew who you were.  She knew you had connections to Crocodile.  And deep ones.  Still, you knew that denial was your friend if any Marines showed up. 

When the two of you made it to the palace, everything was beautifully lit up.  The music coming from inside was already bright and lively.  It was exactly the way a good party should be.  And you were excited to go inside.  Until you actually went inside.  And all eyes were on you.  But they weren’t looking at you.  Not really.  They were looking at him.  It was hard not to notice when a powerful man like Crocodile walked into a room.

Everything went quiet.  The band stopped playing.  The conversation came to a grinding halt.  And yet, a man came walking toward you two.  He stared into Crocodile’s eyes.  And you weren’t entirely sure if he was going to fist fight him or kiss him.  Either way, you knew Crocodile would be able to hold his own.  That didn’t make you feel any better, though.

“YN!” your friend from the dress shop came down to you, looking absolutely beautiful.  Her long, blue hair cascaded down her back in soft curls.  Her dress a stark white and the thin gold chains draped around her neck complemented her perfectly.  And without hesitation, she threw her arms around your shoulders, “I was hoping I’d see you tonight.”

“Hi, Vivi,” you weren’t sure what angle she was working, but you could roll with it, “It’s great to see you.  You look fantastic.”

“Thank you,” Vivi smiled, “But look at you!  I knew that dress would be a good one on you.  It suits you.”

“Thanks,” you did a quick spin, just to show off a little more. 

Vivi looked up at the man at your side, smiling politely despite the rage in her eyes, “Crocodile.”

“It’s good to see you again, Miss Wednesday,” Crocodile shot her a little smirk, then turned his attention back to the man, “What about you, Cobra?  Cat got your tongue?”

“Crocodile,” you gave him a little jab to the side.

“Ow,” he whined, “What the hell, YN?”

“Play nice,” you insisted.

“You know what?” Crocodile backed off, “You’re right.  Thank you for letting us come tonight, Cobra.  I hope this can be a step in a new direction for us.”

“It’s actually not the worst to see you again, Crocodile,” the man gave him a courteous nod, “Before you were trying to destroy my country, I liked to think of you as a friend.”

“Maybe we could resume there,” Crocodile hoped, “Put the past behind us.”

“I like to think so,” the man looked over at you, “Maybe you can start by introducing me to this one here.  I heard Vivi call you YN, right?”

“That’s right,” you looked the man over, not entirely trusting him.  But given that Vivi didn’t seem bothered by him, you could only assume he was her father.  There was slight familial resemblance.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss YN,” the man smiled your way, “I am Nefertari Cobra, King of Alabasta.  Please enjoy yourself this evening.”

You had never been around royalty in your life.  The closest you got to royalty were Warlords.  And you only knew two of them.  And happened to be in good with an emperor.  But that was here nor there.  Still, you had to conduct yourself with a scrap of dignity here.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Your Majesty,” you gave him a courtesy, “And again, it’s great to see you, too, Vivi.”

“We really should be going,” Cobra cleared his throat before turning his attention to the room, “Everything is under control, everyone.  Please enjoy yourselves.”

And so, the party resumed.  However, that didn’t mean a few weren’t still a bit uncomfortable around Crocodile. And you understood that.  It’s as Cobra said.  Crocodile did try to take over Alabasta.  You didn’t know what means he used to do so, but you had a feeling it’d be better not to ask. 

“Hey, Princess,” Crocodile sat you down at a table, “I’ll be back in a bit.  I’m going to go take a quick peek around the party and see if any stray Baroque Works agents are walking around.”

“Ok,” you weren’t surprised, but you were a little jilted.  You had visions of a nice evening with Crocodile amongst the nobility of Alabasta.  But he still had business to conduct.  You weren’t going to fault him.  Besides, you already caught sight of the bar and a drink wouldn’t hurt.

You sat down at the bar and waited for the bartender to notice you were there. Because you had a feeling you were going to need a drink.  And a big one.  Once you had a drink in hand, you scoped around the ballroom.  It was, after all, your first time at a royal party. 

“Excuse me, sweetheart,” a familiar voice spoke softly behind you, “But you look awfully lonely.  You wouldn’t mind if a strange vagabond like myself troubled you for a dance, would you?”

“I wouldn’t call you a vagabond,” you gladly accepted his hand, “But I’m starting to think you’re stalking me.  What are you doing here, Dragon?  Or are you playing my bodyguard again?”

“I don’t think Crocodile even knows I’m here,” Dragon chuckled to himself, “I actually got an invitation from Cobra himself.  Why do you think I’m in Alabasta in the first place?  Or why I’ve been kind of following you and Crocodile since you got here?”

“I didn’t realize a revolutionary would be in good with a king,” you pointed out, moving with Dragon in time with the music, “I thought types like you were more likely to behead types like him.”

“Only the bad royals get the guillotine,” Dragon clarified, “Cobra’s one of the good ones.  He’s more for the people than anyone I’ve ever met in my life.  Trust me, YN.  I’ve seen it from both sides.  I’ve seen it from local monarchs like Cobra.  I’ve seen it from guys like Crocodile.  Hell, I’ve even seen it from the inside of the Marines.”

“Really?” you looked at him strangely, “You don’t strike me as the type to go running into the Marines.  Unless they have plans of taking you as prisoner, Mr. World’s Most Wanted.”

“No,” Dragon shuddered, “Before I ended up leading the Revolutionary Army, I was slated to join up with the Marines.”

“Oh, eww,” you gagged, your own grudges against the Marines burning in your mind, “Something tells me that wasn’t of your own free will.”

“Nope,” Dragon shook his head, “That was my dad’s doing.  Isn’t he a sweetheart.”

“Your dad’s a Marine?”

Dragon chuckled nervously, “Oh, sweetheart, how I wish my dad was just a Marine.  You’ve never heard of Vice Admiral Garp, have you?”

“I’ve heard vague stories,” you thought back to all your travels, “But I didn’t make it a habit to associate myself with Marines.”

“He wasn’t called the Hero of the People for no reason,” Dragon pointed out, “But not only is my dad a Marine, but he’s a high ass ranking Marine.  And that was almost me.  But I basically told him to fuck off when I realized how corrupt the whole system was.  Especially within the World Government.  And here we are.  Most wanted man alive.”

“And I happen to be dancing with him,” you let Dragon spin you around, “Lucky me.”

“I mean,” Dragon shrugged, “You’re also sleeping with my ex and the other father of my son, but I digress.  I give that disaster my blessing.”

“What do you mean, disaster?” you scoffed, “There’s nothing wrong with Crocodile and me.”

“If you can put up with him,” Dragon insisted, “He’s all yours.  Trust me.  He can be a pain in the ass, too.”

“I know,” you smiled, “And yet, I stick around.”

“How do you do it, YN?” Dragon wondered as a giant shadow came over him, “How do you put up with Crocodile of all people?”

“Pretty easily,” you looked over Dragon’s shoulder, knowing you weren’t in any imminent danger.

“Because of my pretty face and the fact that I’m hung like a goddamn horse,” Crocodile’s voice thundered behind him, “Care to explain what you’re doing with my woman, Dragon?”

“Someone had to keep an eye on her,” Dragon argued, fully letting you go, “And she looked awfully lonely at the bar all by herself.  How could anyone leave someone like her alone?”

“Crocodile,” you stepped in before it could get messy, “It’s alright.  Nothing happened.  Just a dance.  I also wouldn’t have said you were hung like a horse.”

“Do I need to prove that to you?” Crocodile took your face into his gigantic hands.  That were certainly proportional to other things.

“No,” you shook your head, “But I’d be lying if I said I could walk right after a week with you.  And…Well, there have been times where I thought you invited a sea beast, but that’s here nor there.”

“Seriously?” Dragon looked over at you with the widest of eyes, “And you live to tell the tale?  I mean, I haven’t seen anything since he went to Iva, but seriously?”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded, “It’s like an economy sized soup can.”

“How can you still walk?”

“Very wobbly most of the time,” you giggled, “It takes a day or two for me to recover.”

“And you get so spoiled those days,” Crocodile put a hand to your cheek, “Don’t you, YN?  Truly living up to me calling you Princess.”

“Yes, I do,” you moved into Crocodile’s chest and got comfortable, “And there’s a good chance my next recovery is when we’re on our way back to Kuraigana Island.”

“Excuse me?” Crocodile perked up, “You do realize we’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

“Then, I suggest someone plays his cards right tonight.”

“Goddamn,” Crocodile held you close, “I love this girl.”

“I can see why,” Dragon looked you over, “It’s a shame you’re leaving tomorrow.”

“But,” you knew this was a long shot.  But you couldn’t help yourself, “I think I know a way we could all have a little fun…It’d mean me making a phone call to the castle to make sure it’s cool there, but I’m sure no one here would say no.”

“Hold on,” Crocodile pulled you aside, away from any other listening ears, “Are you sure you’d want to do something like that, YN?”

“If it’s alright with Mihawk and Buggy,” you stipulated, “And if it’s alright with both of you, then I don’t see why not.”

“YN,” Crocodile held your face in his hands, “You don’t have to do this for me.”

“Who said I was doing this specifically for you?” you scoffed, “Maybe I wanted this.”

“No…” Crocodile cradled you against his chest, “You don’t.  I know you’re doing this for me.  Listen, YN, whatever was between Dragon and me is gone.  I don’t even think I’d do him if I was bored.  I appreciate the efforts you’re willing to go through, but you don’t have to do that for me.”

You stared blankly up at one of the men you loved dearly.  Yes, you had to remind yourself that you still loved him.  No matter how dense he could be, “Are you fucking serious?”

And if that didn’t catch Crocodile off guard, “Excuse me?”

“Crocodile, I love you,” you assured him.  And a little bit yourself, “I love that we have the open relationship we have.  I was willing to ask Mihawk and Buggy first.  You think I was doing that for you?  Because you didn’t think that maybe, just maybe, I saw a hot piece of ass like Dragon and thought to myself that hitting that wouldn’t be a hell of a ride?  You think I wouldn’t want to be sandwiched between the two of you?  You think I want to be able to walk when we get back to Kuraigana?”

“Well…” Crocodile started to realize he may have made a slight mistake, “You know how protective I can be of you, Princess.”

“And when I’m asking for something like this directly,” you went on, “All of a sudden, I’m the bad guy for having two perfectly working eyes and an imagination?  You don’t have to have feelings for someone to have sex with them, Crocodile.  And I would’ve thought you’d be alright with me exploring my appetites.  Apparently not.”

“YN…” Crocodile tried to reach for you, but you just swatted him off and walked away.  You were in no mood anymore.  You just wanted another drink.

You weren’t interested in Dragon.  Not for anything long term.  The thought of a night with Dragon and Crocodile was incredibly titillating.  If push came to shove and you really had to sleep with Crocodile and Crocodile alone, the mental image of Dragon being at the very least in the room might have been what pushed you over the edge.  But you hated that you were mad at Crocodile.  And you hated it even more knowing that Dragon was in the middle of it, too. 

Because that meant you being completely on your own.  You sat at the bar, sipping your cocktail, with your heart on the floor.  Just one night.  It wasn’t like you were asking him to make it a regular thing.  You were just asking for one night with Crocodile and Dragon.  That is, if it was alright with Mihawk and Buggy first, of course.  But instead, you were just upset.  You needed another drink.  You flagged the bartender down for another round.

“YN?” a soft, sweet voice floated through the air.  And it was nice to finally realize you weren’t totally on your own, “What are you doing here by yourself?  I thought you and Crocodile would’ve been on the floor.  Or at least together.”

“Hi, Vivi,” you ran your finger around the rim of your glass.  That still remained empty.  Because the bartender wanted to take his sweet, precious time.

“What’s the matter?” Vivi stepped in and got the bartender’s attention.  And you got another drink almost instantly.  It paid to have a friend in the royal family, “You seem down.”

“I am down,” you admitted, “Can I tell you something kind of personal?”

“Of course,” Vivi insisted, grabbing a bottle of wine from behind the bar while the bartender wasn’t looking, “Come on.  Let’s go somewhere quiet.”

“Where are we going?” you wondered, following Vivi closely.

“Up to my room,” Vivi kept an eye out for anyone who may have tried to stop her, “Besides, this party’s been nothing but exhausting.  I could stand a good drink that isn’t watered down.”

“Ok.” Who were you to fight her?  You followed Vivi up a large spiral staircase behind the ballroom.  There was definitely a vibe that said you weren’t supposed to be here, but if all else failed and you ended up caught, you were with Vivi.  Vivi lived here.  This was her palace.  This was her party.  It was totally fine.  And yet, the vibe still lingered.

Vivi brought you into a big, open bedroom, drenched in luxury fabrics, not unlike your own back at the castle.  It’s not like it was something you weren’t used to.  It was the closest you felt to being home since you left Kuraigana Island.  And Vivi’s bed was plenty big for the both of you.

“Come on, YN,” Vivi patted the bed, “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” you took a seat on the very edge of the bed while Vivi pulled the cork off the wine bottle.

“On the bed,” Vivi rolled her eyes, “It’s alright.  I don’t bite.  And I invited you here in the first place.  It’s fine.  Come here.  You said you needed to talk.”

“I do,” you moved in a little closer.

“Here,” Vivi handed off the bottle, “I’ll let you get the first pull.”

“Thank you,” you had no intentions of slamming the bottle, but you definitely got a good drink from it, “So, ever since Crocodile and I have been in Alabasta, one of his exes has been kind of following me around.”

“Eww,” Vivi took her due drink from the bottle, “Gross.  You want me to do something about it?”

“No, no,” you assured her, “It’s fine.  It’s just Dragon.”

“Wait,” Vivi let out a little gasp, “That’s not…Monkey D. Dragon…Is it?”

“The very same,” you confirmed, “I know.  I know.  I know who he is.  He’s the most wanted man in the world.  He also dated Crocodile for a while from what I understand.”

“I didn’t realize Dragon was interested in men,” Vivi shrugged, “But to each their own.  I’m interested in both, so I don’t really have a problem with it.  And my girlfriend is a pirate, too, so I can’t judge you either.  Anyway…”

“So, come to find out,” you took the wine bottle back.  You also didn’t have the heart to tell Vivi that Crocodile wasn’t exactly a man when Dragon knew him, “Crocodile sent Dragon to keep an eye on me when I went out today.  Which, I didn’t have a problem with.  Dragon’s really grown on me since we’ve been here.”

“So…” Vivi wondered, “What’s the problem?”

“Since Dragon’s grown on me,” you hid a little smirk, “I thought I’d maybe propose a little something, something amongst the three of us later.  Like…A special bedroom something, something.”

“Between Dragon and Crocodile?!” Vivi clutched her chest, “YN, I know I’m not here to judge, but seriously?!  Something like that would leave you paralyzed!”

“Not completely,” you giggled a bit, “I mean, yeah.  It’d be a couple days before I made any recovery, but you get what I mean.  I already told Crocodile that I’d ask Mihawk and Buggy about it first, but if they said yes, I was hoping he’d say yes, too.  When is an opportunity like this going to come up again?  It’s not like Dragon’s going to show up to Kuraigana Island any time soon.  So, you know…Seize the moment, right?”

“I guess so,” Vivi nodded, “Whatever makes you happy.”

“But that’s the problem,” you went on, “Because Crocodile didn’t exactly agree to it and I think even bringing something like that up might have pissed him off.  Yes, I understand he’s more than plenty for me, but…Sue me.  I wanted to be a little greedy.  He always tells me when we’re together that he wants me to be a little greedy.  But when I want to bring his ex into it that he’s on good terms with, then it’s too much.  And it’s bullshit!  I want to have a good night.”

“By the sounds of things,” Vivi thought, “You’re looking to put yourself in a coma.”

“It’s just…” you flopped over on the bed, “I don’t know.  Am I in the wrong here?  Did I fuck up?”

“So,” Vivi asked, “When you say Crocodile and Dragon are on good terms, does Crocodile have any residual feelings for Dragon?  Or vice versa?”

“Crocodile said he didn’t,” you remembered, “And that was the other kicker.  He thinks I’d be doing this for him.  I think he’s thinking it’d be for some kind of closure in his relationship with Dragon, but this really is for my own selfish desires.  I want to have to get back on the ship on either a wheelchair or a stretcher because of how good tonight could be.  I want Mihawk and Buggy to be worried about me when we get back to Kuraigana Island because I wouldn’t be fully recovered.  Is that too much for me to ask?”

“Oh…” Vivi winced, “We may need another bottle of wine.”

“No,” you stopped her, “As much as I’d love to, we probably shouldn’t.  That just sounds like a bad idea.  I don’t need to leave this party completely trashed.  The last thing I want is to have Crocodile have to carry me out.”

“But think of it this way,” Vivi pointed out, “If you get completely trashed and Crocodile has to carry you out, there’s a chance you might have Dragon carrying you out instead while Crocodile does damage control.  Then, you get them both back to the inn and you can get what you want.”

“But I have to call my boys back home first,” you reminded her, “I’m not just going to outright cheat on the men in my life.  That would be breaking some of our rules.  And well…I kind of don’t have anywhere else to go, so I don’t need to piss off former Warlords that I just happen to live with.  And a little weirdo clown.  So…”

“Alright, alright,” Vivi let it go, reaching for the communicator snail on her nightstand, “Then, call your boys.  Ask them if you can have sex with Dragon.”

“What?” you gasped, “No.  Vivi, I’m not going to do that.  Asking Crocodile was stupid enough.”

“Come on,” Vivi insisted, “Live a little.  If you really want to get this threesome with Dragon and Crocodile rolling, you need to ask Buggy and Mihawk anyway, right?  So, why not ask them now and have that in the bank for when you go talk to Crocodile about it again?”

“You know,” you thought it over for a moment or two, “You might be onto something.”

“I’m telling you,” Vivi shoved the snail into your hand, “Call Buggy and Mihawk.”

“Fine,” you dialed up Mihawk’s communicator snail and waited for it to ring, “I can’t believe you’re talking me into this.”

“I can,” Vivi beamed, possibly a little too drunk to care.

“Who is this?” a familiar voice answered on the other end.  You couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, Mihawk…”

“YN!” Mihawk chirped, “Hello, darling.  It’s nice to hear your voice again.  What’s the occasion you call?”

“I have something I need to run by you and Buggy,” you began, “Is he around, too?”

“Hold on,” Mihawk instructed, “You know, it’s the strangest thing.  I feel like I haven’t heard from Buggy all day.”

“I just talked to him this afternoon,” you told him, “So, he’s somewhere in the castle, I’m sure.”

“Are you positive?” Mihawk wondered, “Because I’m not seeing him anywhere.”

“It’s important,” you begged, “Because it’s one of those things that I need both your permission for if we decide to go through with it.”

“Go through with what?” Mihawk asked, “What are you planning?”

“Well,” you hummed, “Tonight’s our last night in Alabasta.”

“Right…”

“And in an unexpected turn of events,” you went on, “Crocodile had to go take care of some business in Rain Dinners, so I had to sit and twiddle my thumbs in his office.”

“Right…”

“And who else was in there when I got there?” you chirped, “Dragon.”

“Dragon?” Mihawk gasped, “Monkey D. Dragon was sitting in Crocodile’s office?”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, “Apparently, they were a thing back in the day.”

“That part, I knew,” Mihawk brushed you off, “But what does Dragon have to do with anything?”

“He and I were talking for a while,” you thought back to the night you met Dragon.  He was a little scary, but you also had the Cross Guild on your side, so you weren’t entirely afraid, “And we got to know each other and I made a friend.”

“That’s sweet.”

“But it gets better,” you added, “Because since it’s our last night in Alabasta, I was thinking maybe I could have my cake and eat it, too.”

“How so?” Mihawk wondered.  But then, out of nowhere, a sudden outburst came from him, “There you are, you pain in my ass!”

“Love you, too, Mihawk,” Buggy snapped at him, “What did I do?”

“Boys!” you barked out, “No.  We’re not having that.”

“Oh!” Buggy changed his tune, “Hiya, doll!  What’s got you on the snail?”

“I was calling to ask if I could orchestrate a threesome with Crocodile and Dragon,” you said so casually, “If that’s alright with you two, of course.”

“Hold the fuck up,” Buggy stopped you, “You’re wanting a threesome and it’s not even with all of us?”

“All of us aren’t together right now,” you pointed out, “So, I thought maybe…”

“YN, are you fucking suicidal?” Mihawk worried, “Do you not realize what would happen to you if you were to go through with something like that?”

“What?” you shrugged so casually.

“Aren’t you adorable,” Mihawk sighed out, “YN, you can barely handle taking Crocodile.  You really want to add Dragon to that, too?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Because we want you to come home not split in half!” Buggy squeaked, “Is that too much to ask?  Before you do something insane?!”

“What’s going on?” Rayleigh joined in, “What’s with all the yelling?”

“YN wants to have a threesome with a pair of giants because she’s possibly insane,” Mihawk caught him up.

“Damn,” Rayleigh laughed, “Adventurous girl, isn’t she?”

“She can’t stretch like that,” Buggy sputtered out, “She can’t take both of them.  I don’t know how big Dragon is, but I know how big Crocodile is.  I know how much YN can take.  She can’t take both of them.”

“I say, give her a chance,” Rayleigh allowed, “I mean, not that I have a say in it, but if she thinks she can handle it, then let her handle it.  I thought you kids had an open relationship anyway.”

“With the three of us, yes,” Mihawk explained, “But not with anyone else.”

“YN can have whatever or whoever she wants!” Vivi slurred, the empty wine bottle in her hand.  And you, being the only responsible one in the room, took it away from her.

“Who’s that now?!” Buggy scoffed.

“Forgive me if I’m wrong…” Mihawk assumed, “But YN, was that, by chance, Princess Vivi?”

“It is Princess Vivi!” Vivi squealed. “Hi!”

“Don’t listen to her,” you begged, “She’s a little drunk.”

“Hard to believe,” Buggy grumbled.

“So, the short answer, darling,” Mihawk brought it back, “No.  You don’t need to be involved in a threesome between Crocodile and Dragon.  That’s just asking for trouble.  And there’s a higher chance of you being the one left out more than anything.  Trust me.  This is for more than just your personal safety.  It’s for your emotional wellbeing as well.  If you’d like, and I know he’ll agree to it, you could ask one of us to join you then.”

“Well…” you pouted a bit, “I guess that’d be ok.  Whose week is next?”

“Your week is next,” Mihawk thought, “And you can have whatever you want then.”

“Alright,” you managed to muster up a smile, “I need to go find Crocodile and apologize.  I kind of made a little bit of a scene before I started drinking with Vivi.”

“I’m proud of you for making friends, darling,” Mihawk awed, “But perhaps getting drunk with royalty isn’t the wisest decision.”

“I’m a big girl,” Vivi snapped, “I can do whatever the hell I want!”

“Yes, you can, dear,” Mihawk let her go, “Hurry home.  We miss you.”

“We will,” you assured him, “Love you.”

“Love you, too, YN,” both Buggy and Mihawk chimed back at you.

Click…

“I miss them…” your voice broke.  But you quickly cleared your throat, “I miss my boys, Vivi.”

“Then, go to the one you have here, YN,” Vivi ordered, “Go to him…I should call her.”

“Call who?” you looked at her strangely.

“Nami…” Vivi sighed out, “I miss her so much…”

“Nami…?” You knew the name.  You had only heard it in reference to the Strawhats’ navigator.  And you only had spoken with her a few times when Zoro stopped by the castle to see Mihawk.  In total, maybe half an hour, “Are you talking about Nami of the Strawhat Pirates?”

“She’s their navigator,” Vivi swooned, “And I miss her so much.  I should call her, too.”

“Go ahead,” you insisted, “I’m not going to stop you.”

“Yay!” Vivi took the communicator snail and dialed the right number.

“Thank you for calling the Strawhat Pirates,” the other end spoke, “This is Sanji.  How can I help you?”

“Boo!” Vivi groaned, “I didn’t want you the first time, Sanji!  Put Nami on!”

“Vivi?  Vivi, my angel?!”

“Give me the communicator snail, you moron!” a different voice answered, “Vivi…?”

“NAMI!” Vivi’s face lit up, “Are you anywhere around Alabasta?  I miss you.  I want you to come over.”

“Hold on,” Nami wondered, “Are you drunk?”

“A little…Does that make me a bad girl…?”

And you took that as your sign to leave Vivi alone.  Granted, she was out of booze and you were out of energy, but you hoped she’d be alright on her own.  Still, you were a woman on a mission.  You needed to find Crocodile.  Maybe even Dragon, too.  But you needed to make the night right again.  Sure enough, you followed the cloud of smoke to the bar.  And you knew mistakes were made. 

“Crocodile…” you tapped on his shoulder gently, “Can we talk?”

“Oh,” Crocodile jumped a bit, “You want to talk now?  You mean, you don’t want to immediately jump to conclusions?”

“Excuse me?” you looked at him strangely.  This wasn’t right.  Sure, you understood that you and Crocodile didn’t exactly part on good terms the last time you saw each other, but no matter how upset he was with you, Crocodile never talked to you like that.

“You heard me, hic…” Crocodile glared a hole through you, “If you want to leave me, YN, then leave me.  Quit letting me dangle.”

“What?” you noticed the empty scotch glass behind him.  And you couldn’t help but wonder how many times it had been refilled.  You got a better look at his eyes and his flush cheeks, “Crocodile, are you feeling ok?”

“So, now, you care about my feelings?” Crocodile snapped, “Please, hic.  Just let me be, YN…”

“Stay here,” you ordered, “I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t fucking bother…”

Yeah.  That wasn’t your Crocodile.  When you left Crocodile to run off with Vivi, you didn’t leave him alone.  He was with only one other person.  And funny enough, that one person was nowhere to be found.  Until you caught him trying to slink his way out the front door.  And without any hesitation, you grabbed the back of his cloak.

“Don’t.  You.  Fucking.  Dare.”

Dragon wasn’t one to cower to anyone.  However, there was something in your tone.  Something very dark.  Something very scary.  Something had to have been said to Crocodile to make him think you were going to leave him.  And there was only one person to point those fingers at.

“YN…” Dragon couldn’t even look you in the eye, “Hi.  So, hey…Too bad about that whole…”

“I don’t even care about that anymore.” Mostly because you already knew the answer was no on the other end.  And once you sobered up a little and thought it through, you knew that was only going to be disastrous, “What the hell did you do to my man?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Dragon backed off, “You two got into a fight.  You walked off.  He asked me if I’d have a drink with him and I said, sure.  What the hell?  Why not?  And that’s when one drink to me turned into about half a dozen for Crocodile and I wasn’t going to stop him.  I mean, no one was going to stop him.”

“Dragon…” you growled, “You’re going to go back in there.  You’re going to convince Crocodile that I’m not going to leave him.  You’re going to tell him I want nothing to do with you anymore.  And then, I’m going to take him back to our room at the inn.  Do you fucking understand me?”

“Yes, ma’am…”

“Wonderful.”

And that took care of that.  You just wanted to take a nice little trip to Alabasta.  You wanted to play amongst the royals for the evening.  Have a drink or two.  Have a nice dinner.  Then, you wanted to go back to the inn, have a little something, something with the man you loved, and call it a night.  But oh, no.  You couldn’t have that.  You weren’t allowed nice things.  Because Crocodile was mad, depressed, and drunk all at the same time.  And it was mostly Dragon’s fault.  A little yours.  You weren’t stupid.  You could take a little accountability here, too.  If you wouldn’t have mentioned a threesome, that anger never would’ve happened.  But that didn’t mean Dragon didn’t have a hand in stirring the pot either.

“Hey, cutie pie…” Dragon sat down next to Crocodile, “You doing ok?”

“Fuck off, Dragon,” Crocodile shot him down, “I’m in no mood.  Besides, you’re half the reason why YN and I are fighting in the first place.”

“What did I do?” Dragon whined, looking back over his shoulder to see you still standing there, waiting on him to fix things.

“You and YN just had to hit it off,” Crocodile pouted, “She’d almost be better off with you instead…”

“What?” Dragon looked to you for some kind of guidance, but you were just as confused as he was.

“No…” you draped your arms around Crocodile’s shoulders, “No, no, no…Crocodile, I don’t want Dragon permanently.  When I suggested a little threesome between us, it was more of a one night stand thing.  I’d still want to go home with you more than him any day of the week.”

“Bruising the ego a little here, YN…” Dragon grumbled under his breath.  But with one little glare from you, he shut his mouth, “Got it…”

“I love you, Crocodile,” you assured him, “I just thought about adding in a little fun.”

“Really…?” Crocodile’s tears mixed in with his scotch.

“Of course,” you wiped that sadness away.  And took away his scotch, “I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

“Ok…” Crocodile laid his head on your chest, “I love you, too, Princess…”

“You know,” you cradled him, “I did end up calling Mihawk and Buggy.”

“Oh, yeah?” Crocodile perked up, “What did they have to say?”

“No,” you giggled a bit, “Mostly because it’d be a safety risk for me.  They didn’t want me to come home and be split in half.  Apparently, if you and Dragon were to have me, I would’ve been split in half.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Dragon agreed.

“And I don’t remember where I asked you to join in the conversation,” you retaliated.

“Didn’t stop you when you wanted me to join you in bed…”

Without another thought, Crocodile decked Dragon right in his face.  Of course, it brought the party to a grinding halt.  And that’s when Cobra got involved, “What just happened here?”

“Crocodile’s drunk,” you stepped in, doing all the damage control, “Dragon ran his mouth.  I’m going to get Crocodile to bed.”

“Feel free to use any of the guest rooms, YN,” Cobra offered, “My palace is your palace.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, “But I really couldn’t do that.”

“What better way to bury the hatchet?” Cobra insisted, “Besides, Crocodile doesn’t look like he’s going to make it to the inn.  And I can get one of our doctors to get him started on IV fluids, so he doesn’t wake up so miserable.  Rumor has it, you have a long voyage to embark on tomorrow.”

“All the way back to Kuraigana Island,” you nodded.

“You might as well get a good night’s rest,” Cobra allowed, “I can send for your things at the inn if you’d like.”

“Thank you,” you weren’t going to fight him.  Mostly because you were already wrecked enough.  And as long as he doesn’t know you were getting drunk with his daughter, you were in the clear, “That’s very generous of you, Your Majesty.  I appreciate it.”

“Please,” Cobra smiled with you, “Call me Cobra.  I would call us friends now.  No need for formal titles.”

“Thank you, Cobra,” you gave him a grateful nod, throwing Crocodile’s arm around your shoulders, “Come on, sweetheart.  Let’s get you to bed.”

“Yes, please…” Crocodile’s eyelids grew heavier and heavier as he took another step.

“THEY’RE COMING!” Vivi squealed down the hall, “THEY’RE COMING!  THEY’RE NOT TOO FAR OUT!  THEY’RE COMING!  YAY!”

“Who’s coming, Vivi?” Cobra wondered.

“THE STRAWHATS ARE COMING!” Vivi couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.

“Ok,” you picked up the pace.  Because the last thing Crocodile needed to do was deal with the Strawhats, too.  It had already been a long night.  Something about having Dragon and Luffy under the same roof as Crocodile felt a little concerning.  Unfortunately, you weren’t getting any, but as long as Crocodile made it to bed safely, you’d be happy. 

You found your way to an empty bedroom and got Crocodile onto the bed.  And that’s when he decided flirting with you was a good idea, “You’re really trying to get me naked right now, Princess?”

“In a manner of speaking,” you admitted, taking his jacket off, “Yes.”

“And here I thought we weren’t fucking tonight,” Crocodile tried to wink at you, but it just came across as him blinking.  And yet, you loved him all the same.

“We’re not,” you stood your ground, “Croccy, sweetheart, you’re drunk.  I’m drunk.  If we would’ve negotiated something beforehand, then I’d be all for it.”

“You know,” Crocodile awed, “If you would’ve gotten me another couple shots, I probably could’ve powered through us throwing Dragon into the mix.”

“But it still wouldn’t be right,” you held his face between your hands, “Because I didn’t get the ok from Mihawk and Buggy.  It would’ve been cheating and it would’ve been wrong.  And we’re not going to do that.  You’re going to let me take your pants off.”

“I’m really getting some mixed messages here, YN,” Crocodile swooned, watching you slide his pants down his legs, “Are we banging tonight or not?”

“Not,” you assured him, taking your own spot on your knees on the bed.  And you started pulling little elastics out of Crocodile’s hair as gently as possible, “My kingdom for a pair of little scissors…”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Crocodile started to relax a bit, “You wouldn’t leave me…”

“Of course, I wouldn’t,” you kissed his cheek, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“No…” Crocodile shut his eyes, “You love me.”

“I do,” you confirmed, pulling your first braid out.

“Uuuugggghhh…” Crocodile groaned, “That was almost better than sex.”

“That’s because I spoil you,” you pulled out the next one.

“Excuse me…” one of the palace’s housekeeping staff came into the room, “Miss YN?”

“Yes?” you stuck your head around the corner, “Did you need me for something?”

“Your luggage from the inn just arrived,” she brought in a cart with both yours and Crocodile’s bags on it.

“Thank you,” you gave her a nod, “You can leave it anywhere.  I’ll take care of it.”

“Would you like me to unpack it, Miss?”

“No, thank you,” you shot her down, “We’re leaving in the morning anyway.  There’s no sense.”

“Alright,” she bowed, “There’s going to be a doctor in shortly for Mr. Crocodile’s IV.  Is that ok?”

“Yes,” you agreed, “That’s fine.  Thank you.”

“Wait,” Crocodile grabbed your arm, “What am I getting an IV for?”

“So, you’re not hungover as a motherfucker tomorrow,” you explained, “It’s alright.  Cobra’s a hell of a guy.”

“He is,” Crocodile confirmed, “You know, before I held Alabasta hostage, he was a good friend.  The people of Alabasta are lucky to have a guy like Cobra.  Good for them.  But then, I had to be such a dick to them.  Shame on me.  They didn’t do anything.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” you pulled out the last of Crocodile’s braids and scratched his scalp, putting him a little more at ease, “Why don’t you just lay down for a while, yeah?  Maybe shut your eyes?  Get some sleep?”

“Ok…” Crocodile shut his eyes and got comfortable, “Mmm…I love you, YN.  You’re so good to me.”

“Yes, I am,” you kissed his forehead and laid down next to him.  Only for him to flop his head over onto your chest.  And mashed your boob down.

“Mmm…” Crocodile smiled, “Pillow…”

“That pillow isn’t a pillow,” you winced, not appreciating the sudden pain, “You know the rule.  If you’re going to lay on my boobs, at least lay in the gap between them.”

“And if I suffocate,” Crocodile moved his head just a little bit.  Enough to where he wasn’t squishing you anymore, “Hell of a way to die.”

“You’re not suffocating,” you rolled your eyes.  He was drunk.  He got a pass.  You put your hand on the back of his head, holding him close and steady, “You’ll be fine, Croccy.  You’ll be fine.”

“As long as I got you…” Crocodile was just about asleep.  If you gave it another couple seconds…

And he was down.  The scotch had taken its hold and Crocodile was sleeping like a baby.  It was all you could ask for.  Well, at least until the door creaked open.  And you had a feeling it was the doctor coming in with Crocodile’s IV of saline.  But you didn’t hear the squeaky wheels of the IV stand.

“Hey…” a familiar voice spoke softly, “Mind if I come in?”

“I actually do,” your eyes burned a hole in the side of Dragon’s head, “He just fell asleep.”

“I didn’t want to talk to him,” Dragon kept walking in, “I wanted to talk to you.  At least before I leave.”

“What?” you wondered, “Not sticking around to see Luffy?”

“Probably not the greatest idea,” Dragon admitted, “But I wanted to apologize.  I didn’t realize I would’ve caused so much trouble here.  I hope things are good with you two now.”

“Oh, yeah,” you looked down at the sleeping angel in your arms, “We’re good.  Thank you, Dragon.  And if you’re ever around Kuraigana Island, feel free to stop by.  Granted, we’re not going to have sex with each other and something tells me Mihawk and Buggy wouldn’t be thrilled about it either.  But I’m glad we were friends here.  And I’d hate for that friendship to be a one time thing.”

“I just might take you up on that,” Dragon cracked a smile.

“Excuse me…” the doctor came in with the squeaky wheeled IV stand you were waiting for.

“Sorry,” Dragon got out of the way, “What’s that for?”

“A hangover cure for Crocodile,” you explained, “Since we have to leave in the morning.”

“Oh,” Dragon gave you a nod, “So, I’ll just leave you to it then.”

“Good night, Dragon,” you waved him off.

“Good night,” Dragon started heading off.

“Hello?” a familiar voice chimed at the door, “Vivi?  Are you in here?”

“She’s not in here,” Dragon shot him down, “Keep your voice down, kid.”

“Dad!”

Dragon immediately got your intruder out of the room before things could get weird.  And yet, it was enough for Crocodile to partially wake up.  Just as the doctor stuck the needle in his arm, “YN…”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” you pushed his hair out of his face.  Not something you got to do often, so you appreciated the novelty.

“Am I really that fucked up,” Crocodile wondered, “Or did I just hear Luffy at the door?”

“Vivi did say the Strawhats were on their way,” you explained, “She was on a call with Nami when I left her.  I’m guessing they’re here already.”

“I shouldn’t have let Dragon take Luffy away from me…” Crocodile wept, “But goddamn…That IV feels good.”

“It should,” you settled him, “Don’t worry about it right now, Crocodile.  Just get some sleep.”

“I left him…” Crocodile’s tears kicked back up, “I left my baby…”

“Don’t listen to him,” you turned to the doctor, “He’s drunk and delirious and he’s been saying crazy shit all night.”

“I’m sure he has,” the doctor chalked it up to Crocodile’s inebriation and watched as he finished the bag of saline, “Should I do you as well, dear?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” you turned him down, “But could you give us a minute alone?”

“Of course,” the doctor pulled the needle out of Crocodile’s arm and bandaged him up before he left.

“What kind of terrible mother am I?” Crocodile wept, “I left my baby in the hands of an asshole.”

“Dragon’s not that bad,” you pulled the blanket over him.

“Not Dragon,” Crocodile clarified, “Garp.  He’s ten times worse than Dragon.  And even Garp passed Luffy along.  That’s how Mihawk’s ex’s girlfriend ended up with him.  Am I a terrible mother, YN?”

“You did the best you could with what you had at the time,” you comforted him.

“I should go talk to him,” Crocodile tried to sit up, but he didn’t have the strength.

“No, you should go to sleep,” you demanded, “You can’t talk to Luffy when you’re tired.  You don’t want to fall asleep on him, do you?”

“Didn’t he have a brother that was narcoleptic?”

“Go to sleep, Crocodile,” you gave him one last kiss, “I’ll still be here in the morning, alright?”

“Promise…?”

“I promise,” you cuddled into Crocodile’s side and shut your eyes, “Good night, Croccy…”

“Good night, Princess…”

[greenleaf4stuff]

Awwww this is adorable! <3 Adar and Glug totally hug it out, while Brimby watches and is glad that everything worked out alright.

Glug has one hell of a story to tell his wife - I imagine she might be like "yeah suuure" at first, because it sounds too fantastic to be true, up until the point he pulls those clearly elven-made toys and the necklace out of his knapsack. And maybe he also got some new clothes with both the Mordor and the Eregion seal on it to show off. The wife is flabbergasted - and very proud.

Yesss Celebrimbor hides behind a very thin veil of "asking relevant questions". Adar thinks it might be some kind of advanced tactic he hasn't figured out yet, and indulges the Lord of Eregion in everything he wants to know - for the sake of achieving peace, of course! And to figure out what the odd elf is up to! It's not that he wants to answer all those questions (and impress Celebrimbor with his deeds), nuh-uh!

Meanwhile Sauron and Mirdania have the angel/devil thing going on, trying to grab Brimby's attention and having to witness the developments. Mirdania and Glug are so going to bond over the whole "are they actually doing that right now???" thing their leaders got going on.

Celebrimbor will be so flabbergasted, like "You could have warned me! How am I supposed to deal with this?!" Meanwhile Glug is like "That's just Adar, Lord elf, please chill???" He's regretting so many things. He'll totally get some of that elven wine as revenge when nobody is looking. (But he's also kind of glad for Adar - about the peace and Adar finding someone he can connect with.) His long-term revenge is teasing his father about it. "So you are finally an honest uruk too now huh, Lord Father?" "HUH?!"

Agreed! He likely goes in either expecting Glug to be toast (which would be sad), or for the elves to hold him hostage - finding that Glug is getting wined and dined and treated like a living, breathing, feeling being is very novel. It takes Adar offguard - which means he is very defenseless in the face of his whole "oh no he's hot" revelation about Celebrimbor XD Very new thing he learns make his opinion of the other rise, and he...actually likes it?

I love the thought of an exasperated Glug and Mirdania doing their best to negotiate among themselves so their leaders can make doe-eyes at each other but they'll still get to deal with the threats. Annatar doesn't suspect "lowly" uruk and elven smiths could do that, he's too focused fuming over Adar and Celebrimbor getting along, which accidentally helps their cause! Also apparently uruk/elves aren't so bad? Who knew???

Playing with an idea where Glug, in an attempt to save his siblings and protect Adar, gets ahead of Adar’s army and actually goes to Eregion himself to desperately petition the Elves into surrendering Sauron willingly before Adar’s army attacks. He knows it’s a fool’s errand. He knows it’s not going to work. He knows elves kill Uruks at first sight but he has to try.

Of course no one knows that Halbrand/Annatar is Sauron (not a hundred percent clear if even Glug knows. He just knows Sauron is with the elves because that’s what Halbrand told Adar) so this puts everyone involved in a difficult spot.

Annatar tells the guards to kill the Orc immediately but Celebrimbor overrules him and it’s still early enough in their relationship that Celebrimbor still has control over his own city. Celebrimbor doesn’t know why he spares the orc or why he is compelled to listen to the orc’s tale. Everyone knows Orcs are treacherous and it wouldn’t be the first time the enemy sent an envoy to try and trick a lord into dooming his own city. But something tells Celebrimbor to give this Orc a chance.

[pisshandkerchief]

adhd is a fucking curse seriously

[swhhdr-wthhr]

i had an obscene amount of bottle caps and soda can tabs lying around for some reason (i've been saving them to use in craft projects for years) so i spontaneously made a belt chain out of them based on something i saw on pinterest

this is the thing i saw btw in case anyone's interested. i didn't follow the tutorial exactly cause i wanted to use the soda can tabs instead of the rings.

[chibishortdeath]

Went to an arcade in a mall recently and they had a Marble of Souls in there, so I played it and won some cards hehe. Those things are LOUD, like piercingly LOUD. I could hear it screeching bitcrushed vampire killer throughout the whole arcade, partially because of how loud it was and partially because I heard vampire killer and immediately tuned out everything else. Had a really nice conversation with the people at the ticket counter too, one of them was a fan of the games and they were all really nice :). Really interesting experience, I guess now I get to say I’ve fed Konami’s gambling addiction 💀💀💀. I’ve got Simon and Maria in card protectors rn (only had two) and I plan to get more protectors to put cute little stickers on them lol. Might put Simon in a lanyard or my wallet XD. But for now they’re just sitting on a shelf for display :3.

[reticent-fate]

i Need you to understand that i am just a simple little digimon redemption machine

the squeaky lil gazimon that serve etemon on the server continent? get those critters some beef jerky and cat toys

devimon from adventure? that's a friend waiting to happen

i see milleniummon and i go "that's a friend right there, get the lads some fruit salad"

kurata can suffer in digihell but i'll take his gizmon, they're cute

i just think they're neat

-sky

[yuzunagis]

i reached thirty tags oops love you niabear 🧸🤎

TELL ME WHAT YOU ASSOCIATE WITH ME

COLORS, SONGS, AESTHETICS, PEOPLE, ANYTHTING

[odietamox]

if I were a little more human shaped (or if i had been for all my teenage years) id go out at night and id go to clubs hopefully alternative clubs and id have so many stories and id be a while different person but alas

[leyiorr]

i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!

mdni.

satoru gojo is doomed.

why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.

crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.

of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.

you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.

he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.

more.

that's right, you were more.

recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.

surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.

he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.

so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.

it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?

his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-

“satoru?”

his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.

“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.

what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-

“satoru!”

he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.

it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.

the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.

(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)

he should be neutered. effective immediately.

it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:

“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-

“...is that it?”

and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?

he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.

yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.

[chastiefoul]

he finds you crying ft. love and deepspace men

ft. zayne, xavier, rafayel, and sylus a/n: I always feel like mc wasn’t given enough time to grief when chapter 4 happened (or maybe they just didn’t show it or i remember it wrong) but to lose the people you’ve considered family like that in front of your eyes would severely mess on anyone’s mental well-being. mc stronger than me fr i would've had a breakdown every night. so i tried to write the comfort that was long overdue. <3

Zayne

He found you hunched over at the couch, knees tucked to your chest. your shoulder shook as he heard the sniffles and although he’s physically perfectly fine, he swore it felt like his heart was breaking in two.

He would gently put his key on the table, making his presence known in the subtlest way possible so you didn’t get startled.

You quickly tried to wipe your eyes and sat normally but suddenly in no time you were carried as he made you sit on his lap, bringing your head close to his neck as he held you tight.

Zayne wasn’t one who’s great at offering consoling words, as he also a firm believer of actions speak louder than words. As he rubbed your back gently he only said, “Let it all out, I’m here.”

So you did just that. You’ve said this once to him as a joke, but truly, anywhere by his side was the time you felt the most safe.

The doctor continued to comfort you in silence, hoping with every beat of his heart that his arms and hands that’s so used in saving people’s lives, could offer at least some kind of solace for your heart that was in disarray.

Xavier

He’d never hated the sight of a bed so much, until he found you crying atop of it.

Xavier would rushes over to you (arguably faster when he encountered strayed wanderers), determined to do anything he could to help you feel better.

As he put a hand over your cheek, wiping the tears that just kept on coming he whispered, “I’m here, what do you need?”

When you couldn’t even manage a reply Xavier would just stay by your side, his and was diligent in rubbing the side of your face; he never felt so useless, knowing the little gesture gave almost to none help.

For someone who finds sleep easy inbetween every hours, that was the most restless he’s ever been. He stayed with you until you calmed down, offering gentle whispers as you felt your awake state slipping away.

The moment you’re asleep Xavier was keen on wiping your face softly off of the remaining tears, and he tucked you in properly. He brought you to his embrace.

Yet unlike any other nights, he couldn’t find any part of him that was able to join you into the dream state.

Rafayel

Rafayel knew he came at a bad time. Seeing the way you spoke so stiffly and the way you zoned out of the conversation every few minutes.

However, he also knew he couldn’t leave you alone right then.

The silence once again was loud, but he didn’t think you realize that, as he followed your stare to the table, to what’s on the top of the table to be exact. A necklace with an apple charm on it.

He approached your side, cupping your face with both of his hands. “Miss bodyguard, you don’t have to be strong all the time, you know? Especially now, since you’re off duty.”

You chuckled quietly, but what followed after was not your usual easy smile but instead it was tears streaming down your face. And it felt like Rafayel could offer anything he had just to make them stop. And if that’s not enough, he swore to give you twice or thrice of what he had, it didn’t matter if he was to be in debt.

He held you tight, the sight of you crying was enough to make tears made their way to his eyes as well. And it pained him, knowing the best he could do in that moment was only to hold you tighter, as he wished that he could mend whatever broken part you had with one of his.

Sylus

He didn’t even flinch when you climbed on his lap, your usual talkativeness was nowhere to be found.

You rested your head on his shoulder and within seconds he knew that your emotions were in chaos, and if you thought you could find comfort in him, then he was more than happy to be there for you.

“Let me stay like here for a while,” you said weakly, voice all tense and anxious.

He brought a palm to your back, “By all means, darling. You didn’t think I was going to turn you away, did you?”

You stayed quiet, trying your best to get your emotions in order but it just seemed impossible. Sylus then sigh at your another attempt to pretend once again that you’re okay. “Cry if you need. Tears were never a sign of weakness, it just proves that you’re human.”

His rigid sentence somehow brought a strange sense of comfort for you, making your tears escape freely.

Sylus’ fingers felt fleeting on your back, like a touch that could slip away anytime. But he made sure none of that will happen as he stroke your hair gently over and over.

Was he worried of you? Absolutely. Yet he believed with all of his entire being that you that has fallen apart that day, would have no time standing back up again on the next day.

If there’s anything he learnt about you during your time with him, is that you’re a stranger to giving up.

[gghostwriter]

One Single Thread of Gold

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Part 2 Summary: The three times Penelope tries to solve a Spencer Reid riddle and the one time she (and the team) meet the reason behind all the changes Trope: Fluff! Just fluff and team banter! w.c: 4.0k a/n: For some reason, my earlier post on this disappeared dunno why. But this is a very self indulgent fic as reader’s background is basically based on the industry I work in. I had a lot of fun writing the team banter and I hope you enjoy it too! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💗

The first clue presented itself on a dull Wednesday night as the team, minus Hotch and Rossi, were leaving the bullpen after a full day of pushing papers. Penelope in all of her sunshine and colorful glory was buzzing about these accessories that she once spotted on a storefront window.

“I saw a pair of earrings and a matching necklace that would look so good with that top you bought the other day, JJ. You know, the blue one with those soft sleeves—they would look great with it. It’s tres boho chic.”

JJ smiled, opening her mouth to reply, but Spencer beat her to it.

“Did you know that boho chic was actually a response to political and social movements?”

“Wait, what?” Emily interjected.

He took her disbelief as a sign to continue on. “Yeah, yeah. There’s an article written about it in Vogue—softness and femininity historically appears in moments of political stress and war. Just like in the 70s with the hippie and anti-war movement that defined their style as a generation.”

They all piled into the elevator and turned to face the boy genius like he grew another head. For all they knew, this could be a clone and a very bad one at that. The Spencer Reid that they knew had absolutely no interest in the realms of fashion.

Penelope was the first to break the silence. “Vogue?”

“Kid, what gives? Just the other time, you didn’t know how many shoes a woman owns and now you’re some kind of expert?” Derek asked with both eyebrows raised.

“Did not knowing activate some kind of button that made you want to read about it?” Emily added on, feeling like she was in some kind of TV prank show.

“What?” Spencer licked his lips, nervous with all the attention on him. He felt like he was about to slip something up that he had been keeping to himself for a while now. A hidden precious gem that was you. “I—I like to read.” A believable excuse except his voice went up an octave, giving him away.

The three women shared a look.

“But you read academic textbooks and classic literature,” JJ stated.

Penelope added on. “Not fashion magazines.”

He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “I don’t discriminate when it comes to reading. If it’s interesting—” he shifted his weight one side to another, thinking that the ride down on the elevator seemed to be taking slower than usual. “—I’ll read it.”

Penelope narrowed her eyes. She was no profiler but she could smell a lie from a mile away way. That wasn’t the whole truth. Dr. Spencer Reid was hiding something.

“Okay, see you tomorrow!” he squeaked out as he ran out of the elevator once it hit the lobby.

She turned to the three profilers, stunned with the boy genius’ erratic behavior. “Huh, did anybody else get the feeling that Spencer was hiding something?”

“Maybe, but the kid does read a lot. Maybe he just ran out of books.” Morgan shrugged.

The other two profilers tilted their heads and slowly nodded in agreement. It wasn’t far off on something Spencer would do. He did once pick up a pamphlet in the airport to read as mentioned before to her by Derek, granted it was for a case but still, Penelope couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something else.

So when she arrived home that very same night, she propped up her laptop and got to digging. Boy Genius was hiding something big and Little Miss Oracle of Quantico can find anything with her tech skills. She’ll get to the bottom of this mystery, once and for all.

———

Spencer was glad to be coming home to your presence. Having spied the lights still on from the outside of the apartment, he took the steps two at a time, excited to see his 2nd favorite person after his mother—you.

“Spence?” You called out, having heard the mahogany front door open. “Is that you, baby?”

“Hey, love. I missed you,” he deposited his satchel to the nearby sofa and ran to give you a hug.

You burrowed yourself into his arms. All the muscles in your body relaxing as you caught a whiff of his cedar wood perfume—the same scent you’ve gifted to him during the early stages of dating. “I missed you too. How was your day?”

“Better now with you,” his words coming out muffled as he refused to detach himself from the embrace. “Actually, I almost slipped up today.”

You extricated from his arms to give him an inquisitive look. The slight scrunch on your nose and raised brows made his heart flutter. How expressive, free, and trusting you were. It reminded him of your first encounter. How you teasingly asked him if he was a serial killer when he offered you a ride home in the pouring rain and how you easily accepted regardless.

“Yeah? Did any of them catch on?” you probed as you pulled him by his belt loops to the direction of the bedroom.

He laughed, finding your aggression cute. “No. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Maybe we should schedule dinner with them sometime,” you coyly suggested as you slowly started to unravel his tie. “I mean, we’ve been together for over a year now and I have moved into your apartment, under the guise of watering your plants while you’re away. Which is a lie, by the way—”

“I have plants!” he protested. His hands divesting you out of his sweater, bringing to view his favorite silk set in deep purple that accentuated your skin and the blush on your cheeks.

“—that I brought over, Spence,” you quipped back. “But don’t worry, I won’t spill how the intelligent FBI agent fooled naive me into moving in with him.”

There was a glint in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine. “Love, I wouldn’t exactly call you naive—” his voice going an octave lower. “—not when you’re looking at me with those tempting eyes of yours.”

Giggling, you leaned in for a kiss, one that he quickly took over. His calloused dominant hand wrapped around the back of your neck, effectively caging you in while his other cradled your cheek—a stark contrast to the other. Kissing Spencer had always felt like a religious experience that you never want to part from.

Reluctantly pulling away, you caught glimpse of his need for you. His hazel eyes now dark as ink, nostrils slightly flared, teeth sinking into his lower lip, and his dominant hand dug into the fleshy nape of your neck. It made you feel desirable, like the goddess that he would call you when he’s on his knees tasting nectar from the source.

The discussion of inviting the team out for dinner was long forgotten. No other words were spoken as you pushed him on the bed—only the cries of his and your name and moans of ‘yes’ echoed well into the night.

***

The second clue was uncovered when Spencer walked into the cold windy bullpen with new black cardigan adorning his lithe body. It was non-descriptive to the untrained eye but for fashion enthusiast Penelope Garcia, she knew what those four white lines on the sleeve meant—luxury label and priced well above their pay grade.

She narrowed her eyes. The Spencer she knew wouldn’t dare spend his salary on anything besides limited first edition books. Something was truly up and she planned to get to the bottom of it as her initial online search turned up nothing.

“Reid, that’s a really nice sweater,” she complimented, throwing in her bait.

He smiled. The thought of who gave it to him warmed his heart. “Yeah. Yeah, thanks Garcia.”

Her sparkly pink kitten heels clacking on the floor as she came closer. “Can I see it?” she innocently asked.

The request threw Spencer off the loop but thought nothing of it as he shrugged and handed it to her—still warm from body temperature.

Her squeals caught the attention of the other profilers filling into the office.

“What is it, baby girl?” Morgan deposited his bag on the table and stationed himself beside her. “It’s Reid’s new sweater. Are you seeing something I’m not seeing?”

Garcia rolled her eyes. This was why females are considered more observant that their sex counterpart. Her chocolate thunder was a profiler but how could he not notice what she was deducing?

“Huh,” Emily surmised. “Based on the fibers, it’s definitely not polyester. Possibly a 100% wool, what do you think, JJ?”

“It says here on the tag—100% virgin wool,” she read out loud. “That makes it very expensive, right Garcia?”

The colorful tech analyst smiled. Her girls could never let her down. “Right you are, girlfriends! But it’s not only that, this—” pointing at the four stripes on the sleeve. “—this is a signature Thom Browne detail. Their prices go up to at least 600 dollars—” they all turned to Reid who seemed clearly agitated. “—now why does our boy wonder have a piece that could buy at most five cute heels?”

With his vast intellect, he couldn’t think of a way to weasel out of this impromptu interrogation. He couldn’t very well say that it was a gift now could he? If he did, that would lead to another hard hitting question ‘from who?’ He raked his hand through his curly hair, taking the same path as yours did just earlier as you gave him a kiss goodbye.

When you gifted him the cardigan from your last New York business trip, he really thought nothing of its material equivalence, besides feeling grateful and loved. It was proof that you paid attention to even the littlest details about him.

“Hey Spence, I got you something,” you looked up at him with sparkling eyes. The first thing you had done when you got home was run into his arms. A simple act that healed his aching heart from missing it’s other half.

You reached into your luggage, enthusiastically pulling out the black clothing wrapped in tissue paper like some magician pulling out a rabbit from a hat. “Here you go!”

“A new sweater!” He exclaimed.

You rocked on your heels, looking bashful as you explained the reasoning behind it. “I noticed you fidgeting when you wore the cardigan JJ gifted you last Christmas, the polyester fibers used on it must have been really itchy so I got you a new one—” your eyes widened at how your explanation could be taken the wrong way. “—not that her gift wasn’t great! No, it was very cute! It’s just—I want you to be comfortable and protected during your cases in cold states. Polyester is a good insulator of heat but wool is still the best.”

He loved how unabashed you rambled about your interests. That was one of the first things he piqued his notice. How you liked to share your knowledge about the fashion industry that you work for but never coming across as stuck up or snobby, you just genuinely wanted to educate anyone who had a wrong perception of the billion dollar commerce. Admittedly, he was one of them but hearing you rave about it’s nitty-gritty details and socio-economic movements changed his mind. It also helped that a beautiful and intelligent woman, such as yourself, was educating him.

He pulled you in for a kiss, stopping all the worries that ran through your head. “I love it. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing at all, baby. I like taking care of you. Just like how you take care of me,” you reasoned. “Plus I got it on sale courtesy of the magazine connections.”

A tap on his shoulder brought him out of his reverie. It was Penelope with an eyebrow raised at the subtle smile that graced his face while he replayed the moment in his head.

“Okay,” Morgan drawled. “What’s got you smiling, Pretty boy?”

“Nothing,” he squeaked out, turning to see Hotch make his way across the office. Spencer hurriedly collected his things and started to move even before their unit chief could call their attention.

“We have a case,” Hotch announced.

The remaining BAU members all looked at each other, silently communicating about Reid’s irregular demeanor, before piling into the conference room for another grueling scene of murder.

“He’s been acting weird,” Garcia rushed out. “Definitely hiding something. What do you think, Em?”

Emily nodded. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“A girl?” JJ guessed.

“Yes, must be a special one for him to keep secret for so long,” Garcia surmised. “Do you think he’ll hate it if I go further digging around to find out who she is?”

“Further?” Emily clarified.

JJ laughed. “Probably, let’s wait for him to volunteer the information. Okay, Garcia?”

She sighed, shoulders drooping, before nodding in agreement.

***

The third clue was quite literally handed to Penelope Garcia on the jet after a case when she accompanied the team.

“Cold Alaska is so not good for my skin,” she grumbled as she rummaged her bottomless bag for her favorite hand cream. “I love going with you all on trips rather than being stuck in my own tech cave but the weather wasn’t it.”

Morgan chuckled. “Aw c’mon baby girl, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy our time together?”

“You, my sculpted hunk, and the fireplace were the highlight,” Penelope turned to the other female profilers. “My beauties, do any of you have lotion? I think I lost mine.”

Before JJ or Emily could even utter a word, a tube made its way to her lap courtesy of her seat mate, Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Reid, since when do you carry lotion?” Emily inquired.

He shrugged. “Hand cream has it’s benefits besides from moisturizing the skin, it also provides an additional layer of protection. Depending on it’s properties, it can also repair and undo damage.”

The females all shared a look. This was another unexplainable behavior from their resident genius.

“We know that,” JJ stated. “We just thought you didn’t.”

His brows furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, besides from the fact that you’ve never shown interest about skincare before, isn’t it a stereotype for men not to know? Unless—” Emily slyly smiled and nodded at Garcia to continue.

“Unless you have a girlfriend that we don’t know about,” Garcia bounced on her seat.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Spencer’s eyes widened in alarm. He didn’t realize he was walking into a trap before it was too late. “What makes you say that?”

They laughed.

JJ started. “Besides from you suddenly being knowledgeable in fashion—“

“—or having a pricey sweater you’d never buy for yourself—” Emily added on.

“Or, or—“ Garcia reached out to touch his hand. Which made Spencer react with a high pitched call of her name. “—having a shea butter lotion with rough hands!” She waved the tube up in the air. “Plus, this is half empty. So either it’s not working which I doubt since this is a good brand or you keep this in your bag for a special someone to use!”

Derek chuckled. “Baby girl, you could be a profiler at this point.”

“Oh tell me something I don’t know,” she quipped back. “So Reid, want to tell us the truth?”

He sighed, finding no escape. “Yes, yes I have a girlfriend.”

The girls all shrieked with laughter and their own corresponding questions of who is she? How did you meet? How long has this been going on? What does she do for a living? Is she pretty? Oh I bet she is!

“Looks like that cat is out of the bag,” Rossi nonchalantly stated.

Four sets of eyes turned to look at one of the BAU founders. “Rossi, you knew about this and didn’t tell me?” Garcia gasped, a hand to her chest at the thought of betrayal.

He laughed. “I caught them on a dinner date once and our boy wonder over here—“ nodded in Reid’s direction. “—begged me not to out him yet, said he wanted to be the one to tell the team the news but that was like what, six months ago?”

“Six months ago?” Emily repeated.

“Wait, wait. Hotch, don’t tell me you also knew?” Morgan asked.

The unit chief smiled. “She was added to Reid’s emergency contact last February.”

“February? That’s almost a year ago!” JJ sputtered out.

The tech analyst turned to glare at the youngest member of the BAU. “Reid, you better start spilling all the details or so help me, I will stalk all your digital footprint when we land until I find out who she is, where she lives, and what her deepest darkest secret is.”

“What about hearing it all from her, instead?” He rubbed the back of his neck. The secrecy had gone on for so long and there was no time like the present to introduce his chosen family to his chosen partner—hopefully until the end of time. “She wants to treat you all out for dinner tonight.”

All four nodded vigorously as they watched him pull out his phone and send a quick text to which you readily replied and agreed to.

“My man,” Derek sighed. “Can’t believe you got a girlfriend without me being your wingman.”

“Answer me at least this, is she pretty and does she make you happy?” Garcia asked. No matter how nosey she may be, she only wanted the best for Spencer and if the recent lightness and smiles were all caused by his mystery girlfriend, she already approved.

“The prettiest,” Spencer gushed out. “She’s my own personal sunshine.”

The three girls melted into their seats. Their youngest was all grown up waxing prose over his lover.

“She makes you sappy too,” Derek teased.

***

[EXTRA - When the mystery was uncovered]

Spencer had never felt any more nervous that this moment as he, with the rest of the team minus Hotch and Rossi, wait for your arrival. He sat with his back to the restaurant entrance and his cardigan laying on the empty seat beside him as a reservation mark. His eyes had been going back and forth to his idle phone and to the conversation the team was having.

Morgan noted his state of distress and chuckled. “You okay there, lover boy? She’s still coming right, your mystery girlfriend?”

“Yeah, yeah. She said she was on her way 9 minutes and 24 seconds ago and based on the route and traffic, she should have been here 45 seconds earlier. Just worried that something might have happened.”

Penelope leaned in, picking on her bubblegum pink choice of drink as she did. “You know, if you just told me her name I could have tracked every movement by now and you wouldn’t be sitting here worrying.”

“What—no Garcia, I don’t want her tracked plus she didn’t want you to know everything about her even before meeting her,” his voice going up an octave in your defense.

She shrugged. “I’m just saying. I mean we don’t know a single thing about her—”

“We do know she exists and you’ve been together for almost a year now,” Emily interjected.

“Actually, it’s been more than year—one year and 124 days to be exact.”

“Buttercup, all I’m saying is we don’t even know how she looks—” Garcia gasped, having spotted a passerby on the window and what she was wearing. “Oh my gosh, that maroon coat is to die for and that textured leather bag—I wonder if I could track her down and ask where she got it.”

“Oh she’s pretty,” JJ noted.

Derek smirked. “Baby girl, tell me if you plan to ask her ‘cause I wouldn’t mind asking for her number.”

The tech analyst’s eyes further widened as she noted the attractive woman going inside the restaurant.

“You weren’t kidding about that coat, Garcia, it looks really nice,” JJ appraised.

Emily squinted her eyes, taking note of the garment in question. “It looks high quality, probably vintage and—is she going near us?”

“Oh gods, she is! Act natural, act natural!” Penelope chanted as she repeatedly slapped Derek’s arm.

The stranger stopped behind Spencer. “Hey handsome,” your melodic voice was a siren that called to his every being. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Penelope’s jaw dropped as she took in Derek’s flustered reaction.

“Me?” He pointed at himself, getting picked up in such a public setting was new even for him—the ladies man of the BAU.

You laughed. “Well, you too but I was more of talking to this lover of mine—“ you bent down, kissing your boyfriend’s cheek. “Hey, Spence.”

A series of gasps were heard all around the table.

The youngest stood up and turned to give you a soft kiss on the lips. “Hey, Y/N. I was starting to get worried.”

“I missed the train, sorry I forgot to send an update,” you explained as he helped you into your seat.

Promptly seating back down, he angled his body to yours—all attention on you as if you were the only one in the room. And in a way you were, with how molten his doe eyes stared, alternating between yours and your painted lips that begged to be kissed.

He always felt breathless when you were near. It was as if he found his very own Aphrodite to worship here on earth. Spencer was no believer of fates or destiny but he would pray and light a candle if he needed to, just to keep you his. Your intelligent mind complimenting his, your outgoing personality that draws anyone in, and your face that could launch a thousand ships.

Those eyes that could read the deepest crevices of his fiber of being. Those cheeks that begged to be caressed by his calloused hands. Those soft lips that deserved to be kissed and devoured until you, in turn, were as breathless as he was. He suddenly wished you both were anywhere else but here—specifically in the confines of the apartment where he was free to express his love, devotion, and adoration until you scream his name and beg him to stop. His hand, having found it’s way to your thigh, squeezed the flesh three times—communicating his promise to have your hair laid around you like a halo as you lay under him, bare and writhing with need.

The blonde on the other end of the table cleared her throat, cutting through the tension.

“Okay, Spence,” she smiled. “Mind introducing us to your girlfriend?”

He brought your hand to his lips, leaving a series of sweet kisses on your knuckle. “This is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is the rest of the team. Morgan—“ he gestured to each one. “Emily, JJ, and Garcia.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you!” You exclaimed. “So sorry we’re only meeting now. We wanted to stay in our little bubble for as long as we could plus this handsome FBI agent—” you nudged Spencer’s shoulder. “—wanted to keep me to himself. But where’s Aaron and Dave?”

Emily whispered under her breath. “Aaron? Dave?”

“They had prior commitments, love. They did send their regards and Rossi wants to invite you to the next gathering at his mansion,” Spencer explained.

“Love?” Penelope squeaked out. This was really starting to feel like Twilight zone for the team members.

You nodded. “I’ll definitely plot it on my calendar. Now, I heard you had some questions for me?”

“How’d you two meet?” JJ asked.

“When was the first date?” Emily inquired.

Penelope brought out a pen and paper. “What’s you social security number?”

Derek snorted at that. “Do you have any other siblings?”

Spencer’s eyebrows raised further and further up with each question while your shoulders shook with laughter.

“She has all the time in the world to get to know each of you,” Spencer laid out. “No need to make it sound like an interrogation.” He was wishing to keep you forever, if you’d let him.

You smiled as you caressed his cheek, having caught on to the veiled meaning behind his words. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[laceyfaeryy]

SECRET FAIRYTALE

knight! simon riley x princess! reader

౨ৎ⠀ׄ⠀. ━ where knight simon riley yearned deeply for someone he couldn’t have

simon held the small silver necklace tightly in his palm as he walked through the palace halls, his strides a little longer than usual despite just coming back from battle. he had knee scars that adorned his arms and body, not that he cared anyways.

finally he arrived at the east-wing garden, where you would usually be.

it was ironic really, like fate decided to play some tricks with having a war-torn knight who has experienced the worst of mankind in love with the princess who has never touched a sword.

he stopped in his tracks, just under the small arch of the hallway leading out to the blooming garden, your back towards him as you worked on the weeds diligently.

a faint smile crept on his face, he didn’t care that you weren’t a soldier, or had no experience in battle. he loved how you had your own strength that no one else saw but him.

“‘m back princess.”

the moment you ran to his arms felt better than any battle he has won, his large arms instinctively wrapping around your smaller body as he inhaled your scent.

“you’re safe,” you sighed softly, your eyes drifting over his body making sure that he was still in one piece.

“of course ‘m safe princess, ‘m a strong man.”

simon was a man who followed orders, a well respected knight within the kingdom who fought whoever he was ordered to. but your smile would make him fight a war even without command.

he would fight multiple kingdoms alone just for you.

“got you something,” his voice slightly hoarse as he lifted up the silver necklace, the sun’s reflection making it shine even more.

it’s been months of stolen glances, small secrecy touches and little rendezvous around the palace, but now you had something physical - something tangible from him.

simon wished that he could engrave the sparkle in your eyes when he showed it to you.

“turn around, let me put it on you.” he orders softly, as if he was afraid that anything louder would scare you.

it was something he wasn’t used to, being soft and gentle. years of training for war, his scarred hands that have killed many soldiers in battles almost felt blasphemous on your skin.

as he gently clasped the necklace he couldn’t help but you admire you as you turned around.

it wasn’t the jewels that made you shine, or the finest silk that adorned your clothes. it was your soul, so pure and kind that you even saw through someone as scarred as him.

“thanks si,” your cheeks having a small pink tint before you went on your tippy toes, planting a small soft kiss on his cheek.

simon craved for more, his body felt like it was overheating just from his desire alone. it wasn’t lust, he didn’t crave for anything sexual, but just love.

he wanted to have you fall asleep in his arms, to watch him train for battle, to run up to him after he returned. he didn’t want to love you in secret anymore.

his hands reached out, pulling your closer as he kissed you deeply. a part of him was worried about your reaction, but he so desperately wanted to show you just how much he wanted you, how he yearned for you every single damn day.

“come to my chambers tonight,” his calloused hand gently caressing your cheek.

he saw the hesitation on your face, the way your mouth parted as you tried to come up with an excuse.

“no one guards there, and we don’t have to do anything,” he reassured softly, his eyes staring back into yours like he wanted to remember every single detail on your face. “just stay the night please?”

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[dreamivyisla]

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ִ ࣪𖤐

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ➤ Elijah “Smoke” Moore

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ➤ on your birthday, Elijah “Smoke” Moore gives you more than gifts — he gives you all of him. after months of a slow, tender relationship, tonight’s the night you finally give yourself to him for the first time.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ➤ oh my goodness, first post on here and it’s about Sinners? am i too late?? also i’ve made one with Stack, SAME IDEA! so i’ll post it as well. enjoy!

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 ➤ 7.4k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ➤ sexual content, virginity loss, submission, intense dominance, degradation (light, experimental), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dumbification, choking kink, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, multiple rounds, oral sex (reader receiving), missionary, backshots, body worship, aftercare, and modern au. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓! 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃!

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

your birthday always felt quiet. not lonely — just… still. like the world knew how to slow down just for you. the air had that weightless hum to it, a softness only june could give, and for the first time in a long time, you weren’t spending it alone.

this year, you had him.

elijah moore.

the one people called “smoke” — not just ‘cause of how he moved but ‘cause of what followed after. heat. tension. silence that filled the space like fog.

but not with you.

with you, he made noise in his own way. not loud. not boastful. but he stayed close. remembered things you forgot you told him. touched you like he meant it. and that meant something, especially from a man who spoke more with his eyes than his mouth.

you’d been with him for some months now — the kind of months that don’t pass like time, but like warmth. like heat lingering in the air after he kissed you, or the way his thumb would press into your lower back when y’all walked into a room. nothing over the top. just enough to feel it, deep.

you never said it out loud, but he already knew — you’d never been with anyone before. not all the way.

you weren’t scared of him. no, not even a little. it was everyone else you didn’t trust. the boys who only wanted what you wouldn’t give. but smoke… he waited. he watched. and when he looked at you, you could feel it — the way he undressed you without ever reaching for your clothes.

he never pushed. never asked.

until tonight.

you didn’t know what to expect when you walked through the door of his apartment.

you’d just come back from dinner. quiet place, low lighting, some jazz humming from the walls like background static. he let you talk most of the night, just watched you sip slow from your glass, his hand draped behind you on the booth like he didn’t wanna crowd you but still needed to be close.

you didn’t notice how tightly you’d held his hand until he pulled you inside with him.

the apartment smelled like something clean and faintly musky — like the cologne he pressed behind his throat and the fresh laundry you helped him fold last sunday, all mixed together.

“sit,” he said low, nodding toward the couch.

you blinked. “you makin’ me nervous.”

a smirk curved on the side of his mouth, slow, like smoke curling off a match. “good.”

you sat. not ‘cause he told you to — ‘cause the way he said it felt final. warm. like a promise.

he stepped away, back into the bedroom for a second.

you glanced around, trying to pretend like your heart wasn’t racing.

you could still taste the sweetness of the strawberry glaze from dessert on your tongue. still felt the weight of his eyes from across the booth, his thumb brushing soft against your thigh under the table.

and then he returned.

a black box in one hand. a single rose in the other.

he placed the rose gently in your lap, then kneeled down in front of you, opening the box with careful fingers.

inside:

a necklace — gold, dainty, thin, like it belonged to the skin more than around it. a small charm hung from it: the letter E.

you looked down at him, breath caught in your throat.

he didn’t smile, but his eyes softened.

“you mine,” he said, fingers brushing your collarbone as he lifted the chain. “this just make it official.”

you nodded before you could even think.

he leaned in, fast but gentle, lips brushing the corner of your mouth like he was still asking permission. your chest tightened. your thighs pressed together on instinct.

“that ain’t even the real gift,” he murmured, voice dragging low against your ear.

you swallowed hard. “then what is?”

his lips ghosted your cheek, a single breath before he stood again.

“come find out.”

your breath hitched the second you stepped into the bedroom.

candles, flickering low on the nightstand and dresser. sheets pulled back neat.

music hummin’ from the speaker in the corner, slow and sensual, bass steady like a heartbeat.

you turned to him, heart in your throat.

“elijah…”

he just looked at you, slow and sure. didn’t say a word. but his hands reached for your waist, and you let him touch you.

his fingers ghosted over the hem of your dress, dragging slow, eyes locked on yours like he was waiting for you to run.

but you didn’t.

you lifted your arms.

he pulled it over your head.

stood still for a second, breathing you in like something sacred.

you shivered. not ‘cause you were cold — ‘cause of how warm his hands were when they touched your skin.

he leaned down and kissed your shoulder.

then your collarbone.

then the curve of your neck.

he didn’t rush. he just let it build.

slow. soft.

like he was unwrapping a gift, not undressing a body.

you didn’t speak — couldn’t.

not when elijah was lookin’ at you like that.

your body was bare, barely lit by the warm flicker of candlelight. he hadn’t said much, but he didn’t need to. his silence was weighty. heavy with all the things you were finally ready for, and all the things he already knew.

his hand slid behind your neck. thick fingers curling gentle under your hair. your skin prickled under his touch, chest rising slow as he leaned in.

“you sure?”

his voice was low. like gravel. like smoke rising up from heat that never quite burned out.

you nodded. “i’m sure.”

he didn’t move at first. just stared at you — his thumb pressed to your jaw, lips barely apart like he was breathin’ in every inch of you.

“aight,” he said under his breath, kissing you soft. “then i’ma take my time.”

his mouth dropped to your neck again, this time lingering. tongue warm, breath hotter. he kissed slow, deep, like each part of you deserved to be remembered.

you whimpered the first time his lips grazed the top of your chest.

“sound like that again,” he muttered into your skin, one hand cupping your breast with just enough pressure to make your back arch. “i like that.”

your fingers tightened in the sheets behind you.

his tongue slid over your nipple, slow, then sucked.

soft at first. then harder.

your thighs clamped together.

“open ‘em,” he said without looking up. voice low. calm.

you hesitated. he tapped your thigh, firm. “spread them legs for me, mama.”

you obeyed.

the air kissed your inner thighs. you could already feel how wet you were — too much, too fast. it embarrassed you. you turned your head, biting your bottom lip to keep from whining out loud.

he noticed.

“why you hidin’ from me?” he said softly, lips dragging down your stomach. “nah, look at me.”

you blinked, slowly dragging your gaze down your body — and there he was.

on his knees. shoulders wide between your thighs. both hands caressing the outsides of them like he was anchoring you there. like he wasn’t lettin’ you go.

he kissed the inside of your leg.

then again.

and again.

your breathing shook. your hips rolled forward on instinct — desperate, wanting, already aching for him to stop teasing and start doing.

“mm.” he chuckled against your skin. “you greedy already, baby? barely even touched you.”

“‘lijah, please,” you whispered. you weren’t even sure what you were asking for.

but he knew.

his breath hit your center, then his tongue. one single, slow lick, long and deep, like he was already drunk off you.

your hips jerked.

he gripped your thighs tighter.

“keep still,” he said thickly. “take what i give you.”

then he dove in.

you didn’t know a man could eat like that.

like he ain’t have nothin’ else to do.

like this was his only job tonight.

like he was studyin’ you through his tongue.

his lips sucked hard on your clit, tongue flickin’ fast, then slow, then fast again — working you open like he already knew your rhythm. your moans poured out your mouth in soft, high cries, your fingers fisting the sheets.

“that’s it,” he said in between, voice rough. “give it to me. lemme hear you.”

you whined. back arching. thighs trembling against his shoulders.

then his fingers pushed inside. two of them. thick. slow at first. curling up till you screamed his name.

“‘lijah—fuck—!”

“that’s it,” he groaned, voice like thunder, deep in your belly. “ain’t even fuck you yet and you already singin’ for me. this pussy so damn tight…”

your head dropped back. he kept goin’. tongue, fingers, rhythm like he was tryna ruin you soft before he ever even got inside.

“feel good?”

you nodded fast. too fast.

“use your words, baby.”

“feels s-so good,” you stammered, legs shaking. “feels—i can’t—”

“yes you can,” he growled. “you takin’ it. don’t stop now.”

your orgasm hit like a wave — hard, sweet, fast — and he didn’t stop until you were gasping, shaking, hips grinding against his face like your body couldn’t get enough.

he licked you through it. slow, like a man proud of what he’d done.

and then he stood.

his lips and chin glistened in the candlelight. he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, watching you with those same dark, steady eyes.

“now,” he muttered, voice deep with heat, “you ready for your real birthday present?”

you barely noticed when he started undressing.

you were too high off your first orgasm, too dazed by the way he licked his fingers clean like your taste meant something holy.

but then you looked up.

and there he was. shirt off. belt undone. pants loose around his hips.

he was thick. all over. chest cut deep with muscle, abs shadowed in the low candlelight. and when he pulled his briefs down, your breath caught in your throat.

he was big.

not just long — thick. curved just a little. veiny, heavy, already hard for you. your stomach flipped. you swallowed slow.

he caught your face. stared at you hard, just for a second.

“don’t get scared now,” he said low, walking toward the bed.

you didn’t even blink. “i’m not.”

he smiled once. slow.

“good.”

he climbed onto the bed, knee between your thighs, body over yours. his dick was resting heavy against your stomach now, warm and firm, pressed between you both like a quiet threat.

his hand slid up your side. slow. possessive.

“‘lijah…”

“yeah, baby?”

your hands reached for his shoulders. “want you to go slow.”

he leaned down. kissed your lips once, then again, and again — soft, then deeper.

“i got you.”

he meant it.

you watched as he reached down, lined himself up.

you felt the tip slide through your folds first — slow, wet, easy — then nudge right up against your entrance.

your breath stopped.

his eyes locked on yours. “keep your eyes on me.”

you nodded.

then he pushed.

the first inch burned. thick, tight, stretching you more than you’d ever imagined. your fingers dug into his biceps. you whimpered loud — your body trying to tense, but he stopped. held still.

“breathe, baby,” he whispered, brushing your cheek. “you takin’ me real good.”

you nodded again. deep breaths. legs open wider, even through the ache.

he kissed your jaw. your shoulder. your breast.

then moved again.

slow. deep. inch by inch.

you felt every part of him — the way his width stretched your walls, the curve pressing against that spot deep inside.

you cried out soft, and he kissed you through it.

“that’s it,” he muttered. “fuck… you feel that? how tight this pussy grippin’ me already? goddamn.”

you nodded frantically. didn’t even realize you were tearing up until he kissed the corner of your eye.

“still with me?”

“y-yeah,” you whispered. “feels so full—so big.”

“you takin’ it, though,” he growled. “takin’ me like you mine. that what you want?”

“yes,” you moaned, nearly sobbing. “i’m yours, ‘lijah.”

his hips snapped deeper. not fast — hard. just once. enough to make your mouth drop open and your back arch.

“say that shit again.”

“i’m yours.”

again.

“i’m yours, i’m—fuck, i can’t think—”

he gripped your jaw. firm. made you look at him.

“good,” he said low. “don’t think. just feel me.”

you couldn’t stop moaning. couldn’t stop clinging to him, crying out soft each time he pulled back and pushed in slow, like he was tryna bury himself deeper every time.

“doin’ so fuckin’ good,” he muttered, dragging his dick all the way out, then in again. “pussy tryna pull me in like it missed me.”

you were shaking now. legs wide, thighs trembling. you couldn’t speak — just whimpering, whining.

“damn,” he chuckled dark, voice hoarse, “got you dumb already? barely even fucked you yet.”

you nodded fast. “so good—feels too good—”

“you sound so pretty like this.”

his hand slid to your throat. didn’t squeeze — just laid there, pressure soft but firm.

your eyes rolled back. your hips bucked up.

“you like that?” he growled. “like when i hold you down like this?”

“y-yeah,” you gasped. “makes me feel… feel owned.”

he leaned in, tongue dragging slow up your neck.

“you are,” he breathed, hips grinding deep. “all mine, baby.”

you came again like that.

deep strokes. his hand at your throat. eyes locked. his name pouring from your lips like a prayer you couldn’t stop chanting.

he didn’t stop moving. not even after you came.

he fucked you through it. let you shake, let you cry, let you babble nothin’ but his name while your body milked him hard.

his rhythm got rougher then. deeper. heavier.

clap clap clap

his hips slammed against your thighs now. your legs spread wider, his chest brushing yours.

“look at you,” he hissed. “a whole fuckin’ mess. i ain’t even done with you yet.”

“‘lijah—i can’t—”

“yes the fuck you can,” he growled. “take all this dick. you wanted it.”

“wanted it,” you sobbed. “wanted you—just like this.”

he kissed your mouth hard. bit your bottom lip.

then his hips started to stutter.

“gon’ cum in you,” he warned. “gon’ fill this pretty pussy up real nice.”

you moaned out loud. “do it. please—please cum inside me.”

his voice broke.

“fuck—”

and then he came.

hips buried deep. groan low and heavy in your ear. his body shaking over yours, sweat dripping from his neck to your collarbone.

he held himself there. breath on your cheek. cock still twitching deep inside, warm cum filling you slow.

but he didn’t move.

he pulled back just enough to look at you — your face flushed, lips parted, body limp and used and overwhelmed.

then he smirked.

“we not done.”

your eyes widened. your legs twitched.

and you whispered:

“…again?”

he chuckled, slow and dark. kissed your throat.

“it’s your birthday.”

you didn’t even feel him slip out at first.

your whole body was floating — boneless, twitching, your skin hot and glazed with sweat. but then you felt the emptiness, the slow drip of cum leaking down the inside of your thigh, and your body clenched instinctively like it already missed him.

you blinked up at the ceiling, chest rising shallow. your voice was gone, but your throat was still raw from moaning.

he leaned over you again. brushed your hair out of your face. kissed the side of your head.

“turn over,” he murmured.

your lashes fluttered. “wha…?”

“you heard me.”

his voice wasn’t mean. it wasn’t cold either. it was low. final.

you rolled to your stomach slowly, shaky arms pulling you up on all fours.

your legs barely worked, trembling from the first round. but then you felt him behind you — his hands at your waist, firm and wide, pulling your ass back toward him like he’d never left.

he leaned down. lips at your spine.

“you look good like this.”

a kiss.

“all fucked out.”

another kiss.

“still open for me.”

you whimpered into the sheets, face burning.

his hands dragged up your back, slow.

then one came down — smack — a sharp slap to your ass, not hard enough to hurt but enough to make you jolt.

“you still wet,” he said, voice darker now. “still drippin’ f’me.”

his dick slid up between your folds again — still hard, still thick.

he teased you with it, back and forth, tip just barely pressing at your entrance.

“you gon’ let me back in?”

you nodded fast. “yes—yes, please, ‘lijah—”

“nah.” he grabbed your throat from behind, just enough pressure to ground you. “say it right.”

���want your dick again,” you whined. “want it back inside—please, i need it.”

he pushed in slow, but deep.

you choked on your gasp. it felt even bigger like this — from behind, with your legs spread wide, your back arched, your pussy already sore and wet and raw from the first round.

he bottomed out with a growl, his grip tight on your hips.

“fuck… this pussy was made for me.”

you moaned loud.

his hips started moving — slow at first. each stroke long, dragging every inch of him against your walls.

smack

smack

smack

you could barely stay up. your arms gave out, chest sinking into the mattress, ass still high while he gripped your waist and pounded you from behind like he was tryna see what you were made of.

you whimpered with every thrust.

“look at you,” he muttered, voice all heat. “back here takin’ this dick like a lil fuckin’ toy. that what you want? be my toy?”

you nodded, drooling against the sheets. “yes—yes, i wanna be yours, use me, please—”

“mmhmm. already knew you was nasty.”

his hand wrapped in your hair and pulled your head back, your spine arching sharper, your mouth wide with a ragged cry.

“this how you wanted me to fuck you on your birthday, huh?” he growled, breath hot at your ear. “deep. rough.”

“mhmmmmm,” you whimpered. “can’t think—feels too good—”

he laughed once, dark and low.

“don’t need you to think. just take it.”

and you did.

you let him fuck you deeper. rougher. no rhythm now — just noise and skin and heat. your moans turned to gasps. his name spilled out again and again, your whole body shaking from overstimulation, your pussy clenching hard around him.

you came again, harder than before.

your body seized. legs shaking. tears pricking your eyes from how good it felt. how deep it went.

and he didn’t stop.

he chased his own release, his hips pounding you into the bed until he grunted through his teeth, held you tight, and came deep again — slow, thick warmth spilling inside you while he held you still and fucked it deeper.

it took you minutes to come back to yourself.

you collapsed to your side when he finally pulled out, your body limp and soaked in sweat and cum.

you felt him disappear for a moment. then return — a warm cloth between your thighs, his hand sliding slow across your lower back.

“you good?”

you nodded weakly. “i can’t feel my legs.”

he laughed softly. real soft.

“that mean i did it right.”

you blinked up at him through half-lidded eyes. his hand was rubbing your thigh, slow. grounding.

you whispered, barely audible—“you didn’t hold back.”

he kissed your cheek. “ain’t supposed to.”

you smiled.

his fingers traced the necklace he gave you, still resting warm on your collarbone.

then he said, softer this time:

“happy birthday, mama.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐕𝐘𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐀.

[deikshen]

Shen Qingqiu who, while Shang Qinghua is recovering from some random poisoning (that demon has already died at the hands of Mobei, don't worry), is forced to spend time with Mobei-jun.

At first it's tense. He arrives, a mandatory tea out of politeness. It's usually frozen. They don't have much to talk about or anything in common except their concern for Shang Qinghua.

Except they do have in common. At some point, perhaps, Shen Qingqiu mentions some rare beast, and Mobei-jun comments that he killed a couple of those. That leads to the first long conversation the two of you can have.

The next time, Mobei-jun brings back the beast's fangs. The two return to their conversation about monsters. Mobei-jun speaks little, concisely, but he talks about how to kill those beasts, the properties of their organs, the functioning of their poisons. Shen Qingqiu shares his bestiaries and provides additional information.

Then, even when Shang Qinghua improves, Shen Qingqiu usually takes advantage of the time when he has to stay in the northern palace with his husband to, well, expand his bestiary. Mobei-jun also seems to be passionate about flora that can kill, or anything huge and dangerous. Shen Qingqiu enjoys their conversations and learns to get more than just a few words out of Mobei-jun's sullen mouth.

Of course, he actually tells Shang Qinghua:

"When your husband isn't being monosyllabic, it's a good conversation" he says simply. "I didn't know he knew so much about flora, monsters and strange beasts. When I find a rare flower and can't remember its name, I'll ask Mobei, not you."

Shang Qinghua laughs a lot at that.

"Ah, I think that's because, well, you know, inspirations and all that..."

Shen Qingqiu looks at Shang Qinghua very curiously.

"Inspirations? You created your perfect husband from scratch. Who did you get your inspiration from, Airplane bro? Spill the tea, let's see the vicious tastes of this shameless author."

Shang Qinghua laughs a little foolishly.

"Well, you see, I had this classmate in college. A very rich guy" Shang Qinghua makes a funny face as he buries in the past. "He was cold and monosyllabic, even hostile to those who were rude, but hey, he could give you an infodumping of all the monsters in The Witcher without even doing research. I heard him do it once and, man, that guy was crazy" and Shang Qinghua continues talking while, as if by omen, Shen Qingqiu begins to feel a strange sensation of vertigo. "He was kind of cute, well, not exactly my fully type, he was very tall but lacked many muscles, but he had the biggest and prettiest resting bitch face I've ever seen on anyone even my king. He always wore all those fancy clothes that cost the same as my apartment rent, those silver accessories, rings, necklaces, bracelets... His hair was also kind of long, now that I think about it, and when he wore it down it was, god, a delight. I liked him a little. He was my college crush." and Shang Qinghua shrugs, laughing. His cheeks are red and Shen Qingqiu feels that his own ears are red, too. "Cucumber bro, it's actually a bit silly. I remember this boy's last name was also Shen."

That... That's the last straw.

"You-!" and Shen Qingqiu finds himself hitting him with the fan before he realizes it. "How-? What the hell!?"

"Ow, ow, OUCH, Cucumber bro!! What's going on?!"

Shen Qingqiu feels his face burning. His hands tremble over the fan. What the fuck!?

"... Bro?!"

"That classmate of yours" Shen Qingqiu hisses, just to confirm "His name was Shen Yuan?"

Shang Qinghua blinks, confused, recalling his thoughts. Suddenly, his entire face lights up with a wide smile.

"Oh, I forgot!! Yes, that was it!!" and his gaze becomes mischievous. "You met him, too?! He was a delicious little thing, honestly, a nice round butt, he... OUCH-"

"He was me" Shen Qingqiu hisses, opening his fan and hiding behind it. He wrinkles his nose in disgust. Of all the people in the world...!

Shang Qinghua gasps, looking like he was given some vital information. His face, contrary to what Shen Qingqiu expected, does not change into horror, but into mockery.

"Oh, bro" and starts laughing out loud "BRO"

"Damn fourth-rate author, what the hell is wrong with you!!!"

"Bro, BRO, I created a part of my husband based on you!! And you're married to my son self-inserted in a power fantasy!! It's like we're indirectly married!!"

"Fuck you!!"

"Ohh, how cute!! Do you want to jump to the honeymoon already?!"

"Get away!!"

Shen Qingqiu doesn't visit Shang Qinghua again for over a month. However, he does spend some time talking about monsters with Mobei-jun while his husband takes care of the demon court (in the time he would usually use to gossip and fool around with Shang Qinghua), it's just his thing.